Adrian Press Washtenawisms

"Mumps have a foot hold in our school," writes a Sylvan, Chelsea Standard Correspondent. In some places it has been known to have a neck-hold. Little Bruce Mills, of Ypsilanti, last week drank half a cup of kerosene. The local oil inspector tested him, and finding the oil of legal test, a wiek was placed in the lad, the oil burned out, and a young and precious life was saved by the aid of science. Manchester's financial balance at the close of the last fiscal year has slid out from under her and she owes $300. - # # . The editor of the Argus has seen a 17-pound carp caught ftom the river by Herman Bucholz with scales on him 1 -yL by 1 inches. We are now speaking of the carp scales. The medicine show which so many evenings entertained Chelsea crowds, having departed, the inhabitants feel so lost, that they talk of getting up a revival as a substitute. The Dexter Leader finds no truth in the report that another man had confessed to the Hand murder. No one in fact appears anxious to get Hand's Jackson contract away from him. The name of Rev. M. M. Goodwin, of Ypsilanti, having gone to the senate for confirmation as sky advocate for the American navy, that talented clergyman will doubtless soon receive his commission. Ypsilanti youngsters met in a prominent quarter of the city to practice physical development, till the sound of the nose-smashing disturbed residents vho complained and the fistic club disorganized. The Ypsilantian's engine broke down last week, under the strain of a two foot protection editorial, and the democratie Sentinel's press printeth the paper, but shrieked "Ninety per cent!" every time the rollers swiped the editorial page. Congressman Gorman has remembered each of the Ann Arbor condidates for the postoffice. Those who have not received an appointment have received garden seeds, and can plant their hopes in the ground. An Adrián college theologue asserts that once when plowing he saw, on looking up, the letters "P. C. " blazoned in the sky, and was uncertain whether they ment "preach Christ" or "plant corn." A less doubtful meaning goes with Gorman's garden seeds. S. G. Noble, of Unadilla, steeped some herbs in a can, and drank thereof and sent for a doctor, to drag him from the jaws of death. The herbs were good, of themselves, but the rough on rats that was in the can,materially injured their medicinal properties. Manager Rose has resigned the reformation of sots at the Keeley institute, Ypsilanti, and purchased an interest in a fire insurance agency at Grand Rapids. Manager Rose will miss the ruby rose noses of the rummies and the ruby rose-nosed rummies will miss Manager Rose. The foul tongue of calumny has charged the Washtenaw times with exacting $40 for the insertion of a woman suffrage article. The Times hurls the allegation in the teeth of the allegator and bids the ladies come to its arms free of charge. The ladies were preparing to sew the editor up in a sheet andwhip him to death. The Leoni correspondent of the Grass Lake News says that David H. L'ockwood, who lived three miles south of Leoni and was formerly exsheriff of the county, is suffering with lagrippe. What is he now if he was formerly ex-sheriff? - Argus. Ans. Doublé X, and the most miserable man that ever rubbed his back and swore at the doctor. ..... Business is picking up at Salem. A revival and a creatnery have started there. Last evening after the oratorical contest in Univerity hall the janitor turned out the lignts on the reporters before they had time to gather up their papers without even saying as much as "Beg pardon." - Washtenaw Times. The janitor displayed much intelligence. It was the only safe thing to do, in the presence of so much accumulated gas. The Neue Washtenaw Post, by Eugene Helber, was launched two weeks ago, and swashed down the "ways" into the sea of journalism with a rush that suggested a tidal wave for the other newspapers. We like the appearance of the paper very much. It is full of contents too. Some newspapers have no contents, but there are contents in the Post, We like what it contains quite well, but would like it much better if we could read it. A large crowd from the country last week wallowed through the mud to Ann Arbor and reveled in the batter of the streets, to attend the "good roads" meeting. Senator Palmer who has left, "only two ambitions in life," ''good roads" being one, was advertised, but failed, and the Washtenaw Pomological society would have been left "in the mud" but for the address of Capt. Allen. At the recent Pomological meeting Washtenaw Geo. A. Peters, of Scio,indiscussing "good roads" opposed an increase of taxation, and demanded laws, restoring the profits and value of lands and crops, which existing financial conditions have robbed them of. He might as well have demanded laws to compel a man to wear his liver in his left side and his gall in his boots. The Delhi operator was surprised the other night, by the arrival of an unheralded train, consisting of a horse and buggy, a man from Ann Arbor and a quantity of whiskey, the latter being inside the man. He had driven two miles on the track and crossed two bridges. The Washtenaw Times says that a sober man would have been seciously hurt. And yet temperance people revile whiskey! I Whoever reports that ex-congressman Alien has slipped his grip, lies like a protectionist. True, the captain's ideas of the sheep tax, are not worth fifty cents a pound, either in the grease or scoured; but this has not weakened his oratorical hold on the public. Fifteen hundred people last week wedged themselves into a ;hurch to hear him discuss the temperance question from an educacional síandpoint. But with all his iloquence and logic, the captain fails to score the disabling blow at :he head of the snake, dealt by a arohibition editor, who, having reached the bottom of a column, idded in a note: "For a further ilustration of the awful effects of tvhiskey, see our inside." A. bale of straw. weight niuety poirnds Struck little Jimnne Oram, Because he was an Adrián boy He woukl not exclaim "O ■ The bale was in his father's barn, lt come down from above, Where Adrián people üways look, For chastening and love. - Iludsoü Post. Referred to the Adrián Press. Ann Arbor Courier. Then thus: "Above a stool ïheie was a fooi; Below that fooi There was a stool. Fooi, stool, Stool, fooi, Olcl stool; Dampbool.