Adrian Press Washtenawisms

"Every one has heard of Satan rebuking sin" remarks the Ann Arbor Courier. The Press has, but freely doubts it. When did the Courier ever rebuke the wickedness of its party? It is reported by the Standard that Chelsea young ladies chew gum in church. Why, we ask in all sadness - why, pretty young, lady, will you spoil your manners and rnake a cow of yourself, by wopsing your jaws up and down in a public place as if you were chewing your quid? Don't. The mayor of Ann Arbor would favor an ordinance, subjecting to arrest all children under twelve years old, found on the streets after 8 o'clock, p. m. Some j ticnewsboy in long pants, must have whispered that in the ear of his honor. The Washington Woman's League having pronoanced against Breckinridge's re-election to congress brings out the Ypsilanti Sentinel in a declaration that if re-elected Breek has as good a right in congress as any j other man. Mr. Woodruff does not appear to embrace the ladies views. Rev. Dr. Ryan, of Ypsilanti, is being considered as constructed of the proper material for a member of the legislature. There would be logic in his election. A little less law, a little more sense, and a heap more gospel is a crying legislative need. Still, the eider had better keep out unless he is well anchored to the faith; for by the end of half a session, with the sort of crowd that hatched our last laws, he will feel his religión sliding out from under him, if it be not rock-rooted. Let him continue his tramp "From Joppa to the Jordán." Over near Dexter they are having very good sport fishing and hunting. The law breakers do the fishing and the game warden the hunting. The spectacle last week of a boat's crew leaving their craft and running through the marsh in water to their watch pockets, splashing, spouting and fleeing from the warden, presented a sublime and beautiful object lesson. The electric cars of Ann Arbor iré "no go" any more. The treat■nent sometimes given to a balky lorse is of no avail here. It will do 10 good to stuff sods in the motornan's ears, blow in his nostrils, or :wist his upper lip with a cord. Nothing will start the cars again ex:ept a surrender of the stock to the jondholder who might opérate the road and get interest out of it. Gen. B. M. Cutcheon, republican nember of the ordinance board, and ivhose scalp Gorman has been trying :o take will "carry the war into frica." He is going to deliver the nemorial day address at Chelsea. Gorman's home. To think that :hat man's malice was so deep seated is to try to inflict one of his speeches on Gorman at his own home! Under the maddening influence of the Ann Arbor opera house orchestra, the Washtenaw Times leaps over the seats into the pit, and filis the air with flying fiddles and maimed musicians. It denounces worst anathemas on the heads of the members, declaring them the "laughing stock of the theatre," and alleges that "the gentleman who plays the violin could not keep the brass key to the jail, let alone a musical key." Ah me! and yet tis wnt, - "Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast!" Ed Antone, of Rockwood, Monroe county, housed at the Occidental, Ypsilanti, one night recently. When he went to bed he thoughtfully extinguished the gas with his breath and slept, dreaming that what smelled so infernally.was the mineral water. Others also smelled the bouquet, and rescued the green Pockwoodian, when he was not ten rods from Peter's gate, and his jaw dropped with wonder, when they told him he should have turned the gas off instead of blowing it out. The worth of a jewel must be determined by the price mark to make its value certain. An Ann Arbor jeweler, recently, by mistake offered a customer a $25 diamond for $2. The customer scornfully allowed that he was too sharp to be fooled by a thing like that, and purchased another stone. The ignorance of the customer protected that of the dealer. Very few of us know of a truth that our $1,000 diamonds are genuine. Voung George Hoggett, near Ypsilanti, aged fifteen years, sequestered some dynamite cartridges in his pockets the other day. He was searched and all but two, which were overlooked, were taken from him. Then George ran giggling away.and before he could be reached had laid one on a rock, pounded it with another, and - ! ! !. Anyone finding and returning Georgie's left thurab, índex and middie finger, also that bright smile, will be rewarded. In digging at the Ann Arbor waterworks station, last week, a piece of strap rail, many feet down, was brought to the surface. It was the steady contention of Wendell Phillips that the prehistorie ancients possessed the railroad and the telegraph. That they had the railroad this piece of strap rail witnesses, while the discovery of hoopskirts at the bottom of old wells, proves the use of wire at a remote period in the past, and strongly infers the telegraph. We think ourselves the sraartest generation ever on the earth, when in fact we raay be the laughing stock of antiquity's ghosts.