Round-a-bouts

Hon. J. C. Burrows, of Kalamazoo, is dated for a Sunday-school address at Coldwater July 25. Gov. Rich, on the 4th of July, will try to convince Orion people of the propriety of his re-election. The Hamburg census enumerator has unkenneled a land owner whose entire live stock cónsists of eight dogs. Jennie Barber, of Charlotte, secures a divorce from Edward Barber on the ground of barbarity and desertion. A reading room is projected for Mt. Clemens. It also needs a Y.M. C. A. and a society for the punishment of the bruiser breed of plug uglies. The Northville Record and the Plymouth Mail have each other by the hair, the subject of the con troversy being a complication of baseball and bad blood. Boys, be still ! The father of Conductor Scott Rathbun, of the Lake Shore road, died at Adrián quite recently, and on Thursday, last week, Mrs. Rathbun was laid beside her husband in the home of the dead. Charles Kneebush, of Adrián, drunk and aged 22, hung himself three times in three hours last week, at the jail and city lockup. Cutting him down became so monotonous to the officers that the prisoner was handcuffed till he became sober. By the fall of a dummy at the Globe Works at Northville, last week, Pliney McFarlin received a rap on the "noddle" that knocked much valuable knowledge out of him and later sent him to a drug store for hair restorer. A Northville lady insists that ladies rise to the plane of common sense and wear pockets that can be reached without permanent injury to the spine of the wearer. The hip pocket is a commeudable affair. Gentlemen find it so. Del. Browning, late of the Dundee Ledger, whose sublunary marriage, after a high school entertainment to one of Dundee's finest young ladies created a foam on the surface of local society, has sold his interest in the Ledger to his partner, Mr. Munger. A. W. Dunn, of Brooklyn, last week shed four teeth in acquiringa structural knowledge of a horse's foot; and yet there are those who will jeer at Mr. Dunn and say he ought to have known better. Scientific research is often rewarded with ingratitude. The board of health of Sturgis gives it out officiaHy that there positively is no small pox in the city. The only lively contagión here, is merely cutaneous, against which the statute of limitations ber'ins to run after seven years - unless :here is a relapse. Grant Fellows the unmarried Ci;ero, of Hudson, and Lenawee west end candidate for congress favors female sufferage in municpal ïlections. He seems to be scheming to surround himself with a lady constituency. At present he is not surrounded by one. It a body meet a body comin' thro' the 25 acre field of rye, grown by Dwight Merriam, of Jackson, he may kiss his girl unseen unless both larties are more than eight feet tall; and yet the calamity shriekers teil us that crops come to nothing under democratie administration! Last week a tumor weighing 37 ounces, was removed from between the shoulders of Henry Watling, a Dundee attorney. The surgeo who successfully removes th "hump" from the back of a lawyer is a philanthropist to be blessed in this world and sainted in the next. On Monday night of last week the house of Mrs. Abijah Packard, of Tecumseh, was entered and Mrs. Packard, a warwidow, chloroformed ind robbed of #15 pension money taken from beneath her pillow by ( some sneak who was probably a deerter or a bounty jumper during the war. Owing to the "kicks" of some ■ people who claim they were not benefitted, the Sturgis council has , ibated the nightwatch and the town is absolutely without protection from thieves, thugs and councilmen who fumble the wrong door locks, who returning late from arduous public business. The Hillsdale High School nine last week defeated a nine of an Uncle Tom's Cabin show that exhibited in the evening, the score standing 14 to 2. This defeat so aggravated little Eva's pulmonary complaint that she expired with a gurgle before the performance was half through. Following the example of Adrián clergymen, the Hudson ministers clubbed together againstthe saloons of that city that had previously enoyed a go'od Sabbath day "budge" ;rade, and the rose-nosed fraternity who neglect to "bottle" on Saturday night, spit cotton and cuss the clergy during Sunday. Work on the Dundee Electric Light plant will be undertaken about July ist. Years ago the Reporter urged the scheme, but some of the old capitalists around there, who never let go of a dollar without first pulling the tail feathers out of the American eagle, opposed it. No use. The naleozoic age at Dundee is ended. Dr. A. W. Smith, of Adrián, is mentioned for the office of State Senator for Lenawee and Monroe on the Republican ticket. Dr. Smith has a state reputation as a politician and a gift of oratory that would move the heavenly shiners from their orbits to give him audi ence. But he will probably not consider the plum worth picking. Mrs. Hannah Torrens, mother of Mrs. Mary T. Lathrap, observed the ninety-seventh anniversary of her birth Friday, and according to the census she is the oldest person in the second ward, and probably in the city. Her health is generally good, she reads the newspapers and takes a lively interest in the questions of the day. - Jackson Patriot. Hillsdale is preparing to twist the caudal attachment of the British roarer on the 4th of July, amid the booming of cannon, squirts of ory and a sky full of pyrotechmcs. i 11 the people there are a unit on i his subject, s'ince the electric : ar was settled. Before that either i action would gladly have been i exed to Canada to get rid of the ther. The Michigan Supreme court has ecided that bicycle riders have just s much right in the road as a baggy nd drivers must turn out and give hem half of the road.- Hillsdale Leader. This is true; but the wheelmen who would unnecessarily laim half the road, of a loaded ehicle, would in Ann Arbor come nder the restrictions of the hog rdinance. A speaker at the gold cure reunión t Northfield asserted that "if the VCTU ladies of Detroit and other ities had done the work the Ladies uxiliary club of Xorthville had one there would be ioo patients daily at the cure here.'1 In the nterest of humanity let it be disovered what the ladies of Northil Ie are doing to wreek the sobrity of the community like that. John Guerin, of Monroe, attendd the Dundee races last week. Becoming confused with the strange mixtures there, that give a spiral twist to the brains of even a Monrovian, he feil from a running horse he was showing off and broke one of his legs in three places. - The fellow who attempts to run an unmailed tilt against a jag of Dundee whiskey is bound to get the worst of the joust. While Dr. White, of Clinton, was anendins' divine service on a recent Sunday evening, his short lipped jull-dog rushed into the church to in accompaniraent of thunder and [ightning. Then ensued a tussle between the doctor and the dog and bets were even on the result. The doctor finally landed his "man" out ot doors and returned panting to his seat. The minister solemnly arose and said "Let us pray." Marshall has a factory whistle, on which at six o'clock p. m., the engineer tries to play "Sweet Home." As a matter of fact, however, if there is one thing more than another that would make a man leave home, family, children, wife and mother-in-law to seek the consolation of a jaggery, it is the SweetHoming of the demon of discord who operates the steam whistle. Threats are freely made against his life. The corner stone ot the new Masonic temple at Tecumseh was laid last week. The intended formal celebrationof the eventwasabandoned. A quantityof relies of the iQth century were deposited in the mor tice, however, including photo graphs of the village editors, a copper cent, a kodak of Hiram Abiff and a copy of the dog ordi nance. The temple when finished will be one of the neatest structure in the town. Flaming the names of the divine Trinity on hand bilis savors of bias phemy. It is in bad taste, and al thouffh no harm is intended itshould be stopped. Don't slop over in your religious fervor, brother!- Grass Lake News. The Argus desires to commend the News for its timely admonition. And yet probably no blasphemy was intended. Some editors in Jackson county have yet to learn to whom the names of the} Trinity belong. Capt. White, of Dundee, although S6 years of age, is about the spryest sprinter in all that section and this season iá as activeiy engaged in farming as a cut worm in a corn field. About a yearago the captain won a foot race and the beer, against a tobáceo drammer from Adrián, who was much cut up over the result. Bat he back a tear with his fist and blubbered that the 'captain was twice as oíd as he was and ought to beat him. Ed. Carpenter, of Ogden, Lenawee county, owns a farm and a kink or two of Black Creek, which runs through it. Recently he bagged a 13 pound carp out of it and was in turn bagged by the game warden and gave bail for trial. As Carpenter owned the creek, he wonders what the game warden had to do with it and is muttering as did the man arrested for beating his donkey: Thiugs have come to a pretty pass When a man can't wallop hisown jackass. Alvin S. Ormsby, president of the American Investment company at Emmettsburg, lowa, that lately failed for $3,000,000, was a native of Deerfield, Lenawee county, and a lawyer, who on one occasion, in the midst of an exciting case he was trying, suddenly left-off questioning a witness and requested ' his honor to adjourn court that he might go out and watch an engagement the sun was playing with an eclipse. The court sternly refused and the case proceeded. The republican leaders of Adrián af ter 25 years of voting the colored man and giving him nothing but dead sea apples in return, started in this spring to reward the quarter of a century of faithfulness, by getting Henry De Munn (commonly called "Demon") appointed poundmaster. Owing to Henry's quadruple nature, he is sometimes in office, sometimes in a hen coop, sometimes in liquor, and at other times in jai!. Henry can steal like a state salary-grabber, and had just served a jail sentence for swiping an Irish carriage, selling it for ten cents and getting drunk on the money, when the present republican council, appreciating his splendid talent, promoted him to the poundmastership. Here he upheld the name of his party as a revenue exhauster, and last week having stolen a halter and a looking-glass, he was jerked before a democratie justice and given 75 days in the house of correction. There is crape over the door or the city pound and a poundmaster de facto will preside till his return.