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Additional Roundabouts

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The Milaa coancil has instructed the village marshal to putty up the cracks in the sidewalks, and an era of reform is about to set in. At Stockbridge, last week, an electric current trotted in on the telephone wire and knocked Mrs. Jay McKenzie into a state of temporary coma. Several tiers of meal in sacks feil over and buried two men for twenty minutes in a Port Huron elevator last week. They had one square meal, but it was near being their last. The Dundee Reporter announces that hay fever has been discovered in the rag-weed. Good! We're glad of it. It is about the meanest weed on earth, and if it has the hay te ver it serves it right. Sam Hawley, of Dundee, a youth who lucklessly lacks legs, but is I flush with friends, has been accommodated by contributions with means to purchase a pair of legs and has gone to Toledo for that purpose. A very cowardly sneak at Holly took out a grudge aga'nst a neighbor last week by cutting off the tail of one of his cows. The wrath of the neighbor knows no mercy, which will also be cut of, in his dealing with the mutilator. A Hudson man had a donkey for sale, and hearing that a friend wanted to buy one, sent him the following, written on a postal card: "Dear D , if you are looking for an A-i donkey, don t forget me." - Hudson Gázette. Lowell Haskell, of near Grass Lake, was tried last week, charged jwith cutting the táil off Mary Jane Soper's horse, but was acquitted. But somebody did it, and this barbarity was perpetrated right in the glare of the Grass Lake News! Lightning struck the Methodist parsonage at Dearborn, last week, ripping the siding off the outside and knocking the piaster off the walls. The pastor had been praying for rain, but feels grieved that so little judgment was used in the response. The Petoskey Record, two years ago, was for Pingree. The Lansing State Democrat says: Since then it has published the tax sales, and now it is the other fellow that is the chronic office-seeker. Wonderful is the effect of a little pap." Yes, like a filial son, Bontecou loves his pap. The Stockbridge Sun says: "Quite a considerable has been sold for mosquito netting, and the editor of the Sun is going to make a pocketbook of it, to keep his few lonesome and slippery dollars in." Why not extend the purchase to a pantaloons pattern ? The fall weather will soon require more clothing. "Dummy Potter," a jailed beggar at Jackson, rather than live any ! longer in that uncharitable town, j foolishly hung himself in his cell, ! with a pair of rotten suspenders, which broke and let him down with ; a terrible "thud." He should use greater care in hanging himself or ! he will be kill.d, yet. George Chandler, of Milan, 1 ed Whitmore Lake, recently, and ; took a friend out rowing. They ! were unacquainted with the unstable ■ character of the waves and were 1 boatèd. Chandler prevented a tidal ■ wave by swallowing a large portion j of the lake. Some people would j never have thought of it. Will Numer, of Lilac Ridge, j Wayne, was recently driving across a bridge with a binder, when a j tion of the bridge, three horses and i the binder tongue, took a foot drop. Numer was thrown 20 feet among the pebbles of the creek bottom, but struck on his well j tivated cheek and was unhurt. The three-year-old daughter of 1 Ed. Parker, of Fowlerville, the other day quenched her thirst with a good long pull at the gasoline can Instead of putting a wiek in her and burning it out, the parents waited for a doctor and the little one's throat was severely burned before medical science finally got in its work. Dr. Richardson, of Dundee, has a regular Wonderland menagerie, consisting of birds, beasts and i creeping things. He has lately ! inforced it with a bittern, two ginia rails and a brace of "coons" (the quadruped variety), and has in addition had a laryngal abscess in ! his throat punctured by Dr. Carrow, of Ann Arbor. When a young miss is talking to a 1 young man and finds she has got to I sneeze, she had better take her gum ! out of her mouth and not blow it into said y. m.'s shirt bosom. And right in the postoffice too. - Grass Lake News. O, yes, of course, she would have lots of leisure for a thing like that. Think a girl has two or three hour's notice of a sneeze ? What with a cork leg, the dency of the Black Bass club, of Morenci, preaching the gospel and supporting Pingree, Rev. Dan Shier has been having a hard time of it. Two years ago he was "sot on" at i Adrián, as a Pingree supporter, and I this year was treated to the same flattening process at Port Hurón, j Enough to drive the Eider "Beyond i the Rockies." A Hudson boozer has quit, and to the Hudson Gazette explains j why. He says he dropped a bottle j of whiskey in the hog trough. It j broke. The hogs smelled it and became sick at the stomach; and said Connors: "It set me to thinking, and, fáys I, 'Be gobs, if the hogs won't touch it I - I - 111 be d diflwill,' and from that time on I have not touched a drop, only in case of sickness." Whili the Germania hose company, of Monroe, were trying a new nozzle, last week, the big water-snake wriggled away from the pipemen and squirmed and spouted all over the community, and when Miss Anna O'Reilly came along, the beastly thing lei drive at her and wet her down so that she now asks $25 damages of the council on account of the bath. Referred to the committee on judiciary. Not to be outdone by the horse killing meteor story in the Washtenaw Times, the Adrián Times prints this: A highly-bred 3-months-old colt belonging to Will Wood, and pastured on his farm two and onehalf miles north of the city, became so frightened at the lightning during Tuesday night's storm that it broke its back by a contraction of the muscles, and was found next morning lying helpless in the field. The animal was killed, and a post-mortem held. In a colusión with a runaway horse at Orchard Lake toll gate, D. Cross, of Four Towns, who was badly crippled with sciatica, was I thrown several yards through the air. He spit out the dust, shook the sand out of his ears, and arose to find that every twinge of rheumatism had been knocked out of him. He once had an arm and several ribs torn off by a threshing machine, and has been partially consumed by a stallion, but what there is left of him is as full of grit as a gobbler's gizzard. Gen. Spalding, after the first ballot, will probably have Lenawee at his back in the congressional convention, but not at first. At the late convention to choose delegates, there was the liveliest sort of a cotilion over a resolution requesting the congressional delegates to stand by a Lenawee man. The resolution was carried after a stand-up battle 89 to 68. The aim of the resolution was to push the Hudson candidate, Grant Fellows, to the front. Spaldis likely to have the 25 votes of the delegation at last, but they will not ! be with him on the go-in.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News