Desertion

The sun was just rising as the small tublike steamer, or, to be more correct, Bteam barge, the Bulldog, steamed past the sleeping town of Gravesend at a good six knots per hour. There had been a little discussion on the way between her crew and the engineer, who down in his grimy little engine room did his own stoking and everything else necessary. The crew, konsisting of captain, mate and boy, who were doing their flrst trip on a steamer, had been transferred at the last moment from their sailiug baige, the Witch, and found to their discomfort that the engineer, who had not expeoted to sail 60 soon, was terribly and abusively drunk. Every moment he conld spare from his engines he thrust the upper part of his body throngh the small hatchway and rowed with his commander. ' ' Ahoy, barge, ' ' he shouted, popping up like a jack in the box, after a brief cessation of hostilities. "Don't take no notice of 'im, " said the mate. " 'E's got a bottle of brandy down there, au he's 'alf mad. " "If I knew aiiything of them blessed engines," growled the skipper, "I'd go an hit 'im over the head. " "But you don't," said the mate, "and neither do I, so you'd better keep quiet ' ' ' 'You think you're a fine fellow, " continued the engineer, "standing up there an playing with that little wheel. You think you're doing all the work. What's that boy doing? Send him down to stoke. " "Go down, " said the skipper, grinning with fury, and the boy reluctantly obeyed. "You think," said the engineer pathetically after he had cuffed the boy's head and dropped him down below by the scruff of his neck, "you think because I've got a black face I'm not a man. There's many a hoily face 'ides a good 'art" "I don't think nothing about it, " grunted the skipper. "You do your work, and I'll do mine." "Don't you give me none of your back answers, " bellowed the eugineer, " 'cos I won't 'ave 'em. " The skipper shrugged his shoulders and exchanged glances with his sympathetic mate. "Wait till I get 'im ashore, " he murmured. "The b'iler is wore out, " said the engineer, reappearing after a hasty dive below. "It may bust at any moment. " As though to confirm his words, fearful sounds were heard proceeding from ueiuw. "It's only the boy," said the mate. "He's scared - natural. " "I thought it was the b'iler, " said the skipper, with a sigh of relief. "It was lond enongh. ' ' As he spoke the boy got his head out of the hatchway, and rendered desperate with f ear f airly f ought his way past the engineer and gaiued the deck. "Very good, " said the engineer as he followed him on deck and staggered to the side. 'Tve liad enough o' you lot. " "Hadn't you better go down to them engines?" shonted the skipper. "Am I your slave?" demanded the engineer tearfully. "Teil me that - am I your slave?" "Go down and do your work like a sensible man, " was the reply. At these words the engineer took umbrage at once, and scowling fiercely removed his greasy jacket and flung his cap on the deck. He then finished the brandy which he had brouglit up with him and gazed owlishly at the Kentish shore. "I'm going to have a wash, " he said. loudly, and sitting down removed his boots. "Go down to the engines first, " said the skipper, "and I'll send the boy to yon with a bucket and some soap. ' ' "Bucket!" replied the engineer scornfully as he moved to the side. "I'm going to have a proper wash. '..' "Hold him," roared the skipper suddenly. "Hold him!" The mate, realizing the situation, rushed to seize him, but the engineer, with a mad laugh, put his hands on the side and vaulted into the water. When he rose, the steamer was 20 yards ahead. "Go astarn!" yelled the mate. "How can I go astaru when there's nobody at the engines?" shouted the skipper as he hung onto the wheel and bronght the boat'shead sharply around. "Git a line ready. " The mate, with a coil of rope in his Land, rushed to the side, but his benevolent efforts were frustrated by the engineer, who, seeing the boat's head making straight for him, saved his life by au opportune dive. The steamer rushed by. "Turn 'erag'in!" screamedthe mate. The captain was already doing so, and in a remarkably short space of time the boat, which had described a complete circle, was making again for the engineer. ' 'Look out for the line, ' ' shouted th mate wamingly. "I don't -want your line," yelled th engineer. "I'm going ashore. " "Come aboard!" houted thecaptaifl lmploringly as they swept past again. "We can't manage the engines. " ' "Put her ronnd again," said the mate. 'Til go for him with the boat Haul her in, boy!" The boat, which was dragging astern, was hanled close, and the mate tumbled into her, followed by the boy, jnst as the captain was in the middle of another circle, to the intense indignation of a crowd of shipping, large and small, which was trying to get by. "Ahoj-!" yelled the master of a tug which was towing a large ship. "Take that steam rotmdabout out of the way. What the thunder are you doing?" "Picking up my engineer, " replied the captain as he steamed right across the other's bows and nearly ran down a sailing barge, the skipper of which, a Salvation Army man, was nobly fighting with his feelings. "Why don't you stop?" he yelled. " 'Cos I can't, " wailed the skipper of the Bulldog as he threaded his way between a huge steamer and a schooner, who, in avoiding him, were getting up a little collision on their own account. "Ahoy. Bulldog, ahoyl" called the mate. "Stand by to piek us up! We've got him. ' ' The skipper smiled in an agonized fashion as he shot past, hotly pursued by his boat. The f eeling on board of the other eraf t as they got ont of the way of the Bulldog and nearly ran down her boat, and then in avoiding that nearly ran down something else, cannot be put into plain English, but several captains ventured into the domains of the ornamental with marked success. "Shutoff steam 1" yelled the engineer as the Bulldog went by again. "Draw the fires then. ' ' "Who's going to steerwhile I doit?" bellowed the skipper as he left the wheel for a few seconds to try to get a line to tlirow to them. By this time the commotion in the river was frightful, and the captain's steering as he went on his round again something marvelous to behold. A strange lack of sympathy on the part of brother captains added to his troubles. Every craft he passed had something to say to him, busy as they were, and the remarks were as monotonous as they were insulting. At last, just as he was resolving to run his boat straight down the river until he carne to a halt for want of steam, the mate caught the rope he flung, and the Bulldog went down the river with her boat made fast to her stern. "Come aboard, you - youlunatic!" he shouted. "Not afore Iknows 'ow I stand, " said the engineer, who was now beautifully sober and in full possession of a somewhat acute intellect. "What do you mean?" demanded the skipper. "I don't come aboard," shouted the engineer, "until you and the mate and the bye all swear as you won't say nothing about this little game. " 'Til report you the moment I get ashore, " roared the skipper. "I'll give you in charge for desertion. I'll" With a supreme gesture the engineer prepared to dive, but the watchful mate feil on his neck and tripped him over a seat. "Come aboard, " cried the skipper, aghast at such determination. "Come aboard, and I'll give you a licking when we get ashore instead. ' ' "Honor bright?" inquired the engineer. "How bright," chorused the three. The eugineer, with all the honors of war, carne on board, and after remarking that he feit chilly bathing on au ernpty stomach went down below and began to stoke. In the course of the voyage he said it was worth while making such a fooi of himself, if only to see the skipper's beautiful steering, warmly asseverating that there was not another man on the river that could have done it. Before this insidious flattery the skipper's wrath melted like snow before the sun, and by the time they reached port he would as soon have thought of hitting his own father as his