Why We Were Not There

The editor of the Argus confesses to the receipt of'an invitation frora The Fellowcraft Club ("composed of the live newspaper men of Detroit") to attend the reception held last evening in Detroit, in compliment to the presence of the Honorable John Donovan, of Bay. Though we were not able to attend, we have kissed the note of invitation and laid it away, "where neither raoth nor rust doth corrupt, nor thieves break through and steal." That we were kept from attending, by circumstances beyond our control, was to our democratie heart a great grief; for we longed to meet Mr. Donovan, and gaze upon his dear face as that of the survival of the toughest; the last of the Mohicans; the only righteous man left alive in the great Sodom of the two penínsulas. We would fain cover up the circumstances of our compelled absence, had we anything left to cover them up with; but to prove our loyaity and show that we did not vote the republican ticket, nor voluntarily refrain from meeting Mr. Donovan, we fee! forced to a disclosure. First, we bet all the rnoney we had, or could borrow, that Fisher would carry the state. Burchfield now has our pile. Then we bet our overcoat that Barkworth would beat Spalding for congress. That coat is now the property of Jumas E. Beal. As the campaign warmed up and the weather continued fine, we put up our undercoat against the nickel watch of Geo. H. Pond, of the Courier, that Mike Brenner would lay out Judson for sheriff, as. cold asa frozen shad. Pond now wears that coat to all the swell parties. Moran, of the Register, is also strutting around 'n our polka dot vest - one of the snuffïest men in the town. We lost it on Capt. Jake Schuh and his blamed sky rockets that he said went three miles high and killed a republican whenever they carne down. On the night of election, we bet our pantaloons with Brown of the Times that Dancerwould beat Kempf for the legislature so hard that Kempf would never write an "f" at the end of his surname again. Brown came next morning and got the pantaloons before we were up. They were a godsend to him, but so short (we are not a long person) that people who saw him with them on said the pantaloons were picked before they were ripe. He is wearing them today We had not yet recovered from the financial depression, when the invitation to the üonovan demonstration struck us; and though its contents were as the refreshing dews of Hermon, it was yet the chalice that when lifted to the lips carried poison to the soul, for we could not be present at the reception except as a living llustration of Adam before the trangression. "O, why should the spirit of mortal be proud?" We trust, however, that the democratie survivor from Bay was properly cared for and that the Fellowcraft club will see that under the circumstances our absence was more desirable than our presence. The name of Lake Ontario was flrst noted as Skanodairo(beautiful lake). It was also, at varions times and by different men, denominated Lac de Frontenac, Lac de Iroqnois, and Lao de St. Louis. The Mohawks called it Caindaracqui. Papa -was caref ully studying the f ainily history in the big Bible when hia 9-year-old daughter snrprised him by saying, "Papa, was Aunt Ann one of your Awn-sisrersV"