The Oath! The Oath!

oung men, the season for the renewal ot your pledges has arrived. Hold up your right hands - wait a minute - stand along in a straight row. There, that's all right. Now! You do solemnly swear, that from this time henceforth and forever, you will eschew (not chew) tobáceo, cross-eyed wine, rotgut, absolute alcohol, aqua fortis, dead shot, foolish every day oaths, the dirty little cigarette, and kindred immoralities that tend to malee you smell like a goat and render you a burden and an offense to the community; that you will never drink any water in Ann Arbor that has not been thoroughly baked to destroy the various forms of mastodonic life that lurk unseen in the sediment and prey upon the human vitáis; that as long as your lamp of life holds out to burn you will refrain from smoking "twofurs" and big, pot-bellied pipes, and never a ten-center, without asking the Argus to take one. You further promise and swear that you will accord your sister the same politeness and courtesy that you would another fellow's sister, and that yóu will not try to spooney on your chum's girl, unless she has already jilted him, so help you Robert Ingersoll. That will do; and now only one thing more, boys. Don't be in such a hurry as you seem to be to get down town. The saloons are all closed today, you know.