Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Portage lake is one Jof the few summer resorts that is trying to get through theseasonjwithout a forty foot snake. "Disease and death lurks in that miasmatic efflnvia which is constantly beiug emitted from that slough" on Bond's spring brook farm," says the Dundee Reporter. Something shonld be done at once to counter-operate against such deadly microcosmic protoplasms. Jimmie Moore of Northville, not relishing some advice given him by his father and brother, sat plown to a banquet of "Eongh on Rats." It was a hnrried time of the year, and his folks eould not afford to bother with a funeral, and a gradúate of the university unloaded Jimmie with a siphon. The boy who thinks he is a railroad train, and is in Ann Arbor jail for thinking so, awaiting a berth at jPontiac, showed the other day that there was some gas about his lunacy. He shut the Windows of his room and turned on the gas. The poor fellow was sane enough to know that he was crazy, and that suicide was the proper thing. The authorities found him insensible and restored him. Cari Poegel broke the peace and some of the furniture about his house at Ann Arbor, and when an officer called, Poegel poked him over the "peeper" with a pounder. The poundee then poked Poegel in jail, put a piece of pulpy porterhouse over the pounded peeper, put in a warrant for assault and battery and peremptorily "petered out" as a peace maker in the Poegel precinct. Dan E. Hoey, who is one of the largest and most successful sheep dealers in this part of the country, wants to buy 10,000 sheep, ewes, wethers and halfblood lambs. - Dexter Leader.' Looks like the Wilson tariff had completely busted the sheep business. If there is any jutinaljle reason why a Michi-gauder should strut with nis ping hat over one ear, and hands supporting his sciatic inuscles, it rests in the fact that in the last coutest open to the United States the Uuiversity of Michigan captured two out of four fellowships offered by Greece. Jnst to show that he "wasn't no politiciau, nor nothing, and wouldn't go to congtess, nor nothing," if he had a chanco, bnt was a plain, hunible farmer, the greatest of whose pride would be to see his ewes graze, his lambs suck, a n(,his wheat drop into the half bushei, .ü.iwyer John F. Lawrence, of Ann Arbor, helped thresh his own grain the other day. John's hands are awfully callous. Ever see 'em? Anu Ar,bor is grasping after Ypsilanti's underwear factory. This is likely to nnravel the friendship of the twins, which never was very firmly kuit. A released inniate of the Washtenaw county jail has imparted in confidence to the Chelsea Standard that the molasses departnient is run on a corrupt basis. He asserts that whether therejare two prisoners or trwenty, the allowance of molasses per meal is exactly two quarts. On his probably prejuiced report the Standard is yelling for reform in the administration of m olasses. A dirty tramp called at the house of Adam Kalmbaoh, of Chelsea. His ten year old daughter and another little girl were the only persons at home. Trarnpy was proceeding to make himeslf one of the family, when little Miss Kalmbach suddenly stuck a toy revolver nnder his nose with the remark, "This is what you want;" but it wasn't, and the race for life he made toward the street proved it. The Ypsilanti driving association has pulled off its races from the original dates, tö avoid conflict with the county fair, which appears to be driving all others attrations to the "bow-wows. ' ' A matrimonial epidemie of unusual malignance is prophesied to f all npon Saline. A lot of old - but delicacy forbids - are praying for fulfillment as they haven 't prayed for rain this season Dexter authorities are on the watch for sidewalk bicyclers from other towns. It didn't put the Corporation body snatcher in a meek Moses frame of mind to see a couple of strangers mount the walk, damn Dexter, defy the "duke" and depart bef ore he could detain them. A loaded wagon run over the head of Harry Twig, of Milan and scarcely made a dent in it. As the twig was bent, so the axletree was inclined. "Twig?" "Think of the time lo'st by a stopped watch, exclaims an advertisement in the Ann Arbor Courier. Think rather of the time lost by winding a VVaterbury. It ftas thought that the loss of liorses around Mud Lake was due to the sea serpent, but it has been proved that the lake undergrounded its banks through which the horses tumble, and are aeen no more. Probably the best drainage in Ann Arbor is afforded by the new Hill street lateral sewer, the discharge being at the rate of $36.18 on $1,000 valuation "Traps" will be put in the tarpayers to restrain the "sewer gas," by order of the board of public works Gigantic prèparations for the annual Washtenaw [horse, buil, agricultural, inectianical and literary exposition.next fall, are already in progress. If the hopes of the management are realized the late world's fair would be in. comparison as a huckleberry to a Hubbard. squash, or a pin-tailed calf to a prize steer. The wheel harrow is not farther ahead of the old "crotch drag" than the modern Washtenaw fair, of its predecessors.