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Dexter And Sinister

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Elmer Becker is the new Samaría sexton. He has begun rehearsals on the solo, '-Gather Them Iu." Hallowe'eners moved everything movable about the well on the Milan school grounds, and tried to pull up the well itself, but the tackling broke. Frank Legg and Franc Dorr were recently married at Ann Arbor. Would it be a "two-Frank" statement to remark that the srroom is no longer oneLegged? Will some Ann Arbor paper rise up and state whether the oouncil has provided a bath tub for the fire department? The city has an excellent fire f orce who work like beavers to save property, get soaked through to the skin, and then- unless somebody has pried open the heart of the council with a crowbar- are allowed to take a bath with a curry comb. Concerning Milan's $3,000,000 Anekc Jans heir, the Ann Arbor Argus removes its hat and rises to respectfully remark that "people no longer cali Wm. Bogardus, of Milán, plain 'Bill' Bogardus. Henceforth he is 'General' and not 'Captain' Bogardus either." Whoso hereaftèr alludeth to Bill- beg Bill's pardon- General Bogardu8- as "Bill," should expect to feel the Bogardus-kicker coquetting with the lower extremities of his fashionable coat. Rev. Secretary of State Gardner entered into "The Struggl for Chattanooga" at Milan, last Friday evening, before the high school leeture course, and conquered. Napoleon after the battle of Waterloo renaarked: "The destiny of the wovld might have beeu changed had there been a Murat to have headed the oavalry." It is pleasant to feel that the American TJnion was saved by the personal prowess at Chattanooga of Washingtou Gardner. Oliver Libby, of Dundee, the other evening emerged from a rough and tumble, catch-as-catch can conflict with the loose boards of a sidewalk with a gash in the skull-blanket. a bruised knee and a broken middle finger on the left hand. The sidewalk was also badly "broken up." It was one of the most furious flghts witnessed in Dundee for weeks- and this was notwitnessed, for it was dark and Libby was alone with his Maker and the sidewalk.