Particular About His Funeral

A Topka man of a practical turu of mind bus made a will regulatiug his ovra funeral. A frieud who is a parson is to come from a di.stance and say a prayer. Another friend, who is not a parson, not even a church member, is to make a short talk. Another friend, ■who is a woinan and a sweet singer, is to request three musical friends - another woman and two roen - to join her in singing appropriate hymns, while another friend, a young fellow who learned the keyboard while "on the road" for a musió house, is to preside át the organ. Tlie uudertaker is not to wear a plug hat, or a big diamond stud, or a dressy Prince Albert coat, or inany manner to appear as if he had snatched a moment from a bauquet to bury the dead. He is to be modest and huinble, giving the corpse a cbance for public attention - its last chance. The pallbearers are not to be labeled. They will be distinguishable from the corpse by the fact that they will be alive, and theirduties will be nndetstood ■without wearing a printed sigu. They must be good fellows, too, bright fellows-, and they are requested to beguile the way to the grave with cheerful anecdotes of their dead frieud. None of them may wear gloves - undertakers' gloves are so starchy and stuffy - and a man whose bands sweat is barred. It tarnishes the handles of the eoffln. Grip.s and signs, swords, feathers and bands are prohibited. The parson who Sháll say the first prayer shall say the last, and "sprigs of myrtle" or "acacia" are forbidden. The pallbearers are to line up and witness the final olosiug of the grave. All the funeral arrangements are tobein charge of another friend, a woman, who shall comfort the family and see that chumps keep away from the house ; that brownies be not permitted to "situp with the corpse." She shall recoive flowers - if any - friends may briug in, return thanks for them in writing and request the newspapers not to cali them "floral offer inga. " She shall also detach cards from these pretty remembrances and preserve them for the family. The coffin - it sball not be called a "casket" - must not wear the appearance of a floral bargain counter. That mossgrown title head, "The Last Sad Rites," must not appear over the newspaper accounts of the funeral, and having done this last kind service in fairly good English and short sentences city editors, are requested to tnrn again their attention to life and the beautiful wörld,, leaving the dead man to make his own way across the dark river. -