Fooled The Manager

A tbeatrical ruauager tells this story ïegarding the late .7. W. Kelly: ín his earlier days Kelly was appearng at a variety hall in San Francisco. The proprietor and manager of the place ■was a Germán, who had a great admiration for the "rolling mili man." While Kelly was appearing at the theater the Germán arranged to put on the stage a series of tableaux depicting the íeroism of the members of the San Francisco fire department. Kelly was to stand at one side of the stage and recite soine original verses describiug each picture or tableau as it was shown on the stage. The Germán was wiklly anxious that this tribute to the firemen should make a hit on the opening night. "Oh, Chon, " he said, "do your pest, and you vill make te hit of your life!" On the day oí the opening Kelly remained at home, so as to be in the best possible trim for tho show. Soon after 3 o'clock he started for the theater. Just before going into the hall it oocurred to him that he could have some f un with the Germán; so he turned up his coat collar, mussed his hair and went reeling into the variety hall. Tbere was a sound of crash ing glassware. The Germán had dropped a tray full of beer glasses. "Oh, Chon," he moaned, waving his hands in the air, "you haf wooined all to taploze! Vat is te good of haffing Irishman to vork for you?' ' "Thash all right," mumbled Kelly, staggering up to him. "Go vay," shouted the manager. "You hef kveered te show." With that the manager rushed for the stage and arranged that a sonbrette should annonnce the tableaux. Then he went out in front and waited, all in a tremble, to see if she could get through with it. In the meantime Kelly went around on the stage, and just as the soubrette walked on -the stage Kelly followed her and said, 'Til take care of this." The Germán saw him come on the stage, and with a cry of mortal terror ran for the front door. He knew that Kelly would spoil everything. He sdood in the street, mopping his brow and moaning in agony, when he began lo hear lond applause inside the theater. He could hardly believe his senses. Every few seconds there would be a roar of laughter and handclapping. He timidly went back into the hall, and there was Kelly, sober as a judge and "straight as a string," making the hit of his life. After that all the Germán could do was to sit down at a table to weep and order beer for every body around. In telling the story Kelly used to say merely to finish the story, "'I saw him after that 1 really did have a tidy number aboard, but heonly laughed and eaid, 'No, Chon, you can 't fooi me.'"