Adrian Press Items

Au unlortunate error in toe Washtenaw Times places the park corumi-ssioner in the role of making Hauover paik "a jay foiever. " A land roller laat week passed over part of the boy choir of tbe Ypsilanti Episcopal churcb, scraping his face loosening his teetb and giving bis rennet the tightest squeeze it has had since he quit the nursing bottle. A young man named Bliss, who weighs 525 pounds, is riding around throngh tbe country on a bicyole He strnck Ann Arbor one day recently, and they paid him for riding over some of their streets, as it was better than a steam roller to make stnooth road beds. Marshal Svveet has given the gang that bas been accustomed to hang ont in the post office oorridors, notice to quit, and they have obeyed tbe order. - Ann Arbor Courier. "Notioe to quit" has not yet been received by the "gang" of the inner corridors, but it is expected, in the regular order. The book of ordinances of Grass Lake is lost and a oouncilman has been appointed a committee of one - just one - that's all there is of him - to track the truant statutes to their retreat. The only bible in Grass Lake was stolen some years ago and never rediscovered. Now the book of ordinances bas mysteriously stepped out. Aü Trenton, Marshal Mahady intercepted a stolen bioycle which proved the property of Mr. Mabanny, of Detroit. Marshal Mahady restored the wheel to Mr. Mahanny, and Mr. Mahanny regards Marshal Mahady as more of a man tban any he had met till he met Marshal Mahady. Mahady and Mahanny are great friends now. A four legged cbicken peeped its flrst peep at Dick Leonaid's Monday morning. It is a bright and healthy chick, and its extra pair of legs and feet are a tached at the place of its narrativo. - Milán Leader. If tbere be anything in signs, the appearance of this four legged chicken indicates it will take lively scratohing for a living during the prosperity term just opened. A certain lady nf Stockbridge sowed a bandful of shot, thinking them sweet peas. "Great guns!" What will the harvest be? - Sun. Pistils, of course, you ninny, wben the shot blow out. Mr. Newkirk, who went over from Dexter to Ann Arbor, to be jndge of probate, is building a nesv house at the county seat. Aint ye a little rasb, jedge? But perhaps you can sell it to your democratie successor for a portion of its oost. The board of public works of Ann Arbor has put forth an order forbidding their employés from smoking duriug working hours. "We intend that our force sball serve as a model for temperance in all tbings, " rernarked the secretary, as be laid down the pen and replaced the cigar between his teeth. For a long time Postmaster Beakes, Ann Arbor, bas worked and schemed and studied, till in danger of being as bald as a bazel nut, to discover who was doing the postoffice stealing. The stamper has confessed. Tbe authorities have him. His jobs for the postmaster and the public foot np $400. Moral: If you1 are going to steal, don't get found out. We modestly request the Adiian Press to give us the correct pronunciation of the name of Manchester's village president spelled Steinkohl.- Plymouth Mail. Always glad to illumine the derrick of a benigbted brother of the press. "Stein" is Germán for "stone", and k-o-h-1, self-evideutly spells coal. There you have it - Stoneooal: Paid for your last winter's supply yet? The only flying machine that has ever actually flown - that is, maintained and moved itself in the air by euergy generated in its own mechanism - is one lately oonstructed, after years of laborious and disappointing experiment, by Prof. S. P. Langley, secretary of the Srnitnsonian Institution. - Ann Arbor Argus. That's a lie ! Everybody knows tbat the Prosperity air ship - to whioh we all have heirships - has maintained itself in the air by the energy of its own meohanism ever [sinne the 3d of November. The deepening of the outlet of Grass lake, in former years, lowered the water 18 inches. In summer the water recedes from the old shore line, leaving behiud a self-reliant stencb that even a blind man could discern. The board of health of Grass Lake recornmends deep ening the water by damming the chan nel. Otbers favor deepeniug the chan nel and damning the water. Iu hot dry weather the water ia so shallow that i maintains nothing bnt bnll frogs, which are eaptured and concealed in the cloth ing of President Carlton, while he is bathing; and then when he is in the oourse of "reincarnation" some one yells "snake!" Tnen listen to"What the Wild Waves Say."