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The Truth About It

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Yes, Erastus, we have notioed that article in a scientific journal advising people to sleep more in order to live long, and t teil yon the truth we take j but little stock in it. We notice that Tesla, the great electrician, claims tbat a man inight live to be 200 years old if he wonld only sleep most of the time. And suppose he should. What would a man amonnt to sleeping like a fat dog in the summer? For all practical purposes a man inight as well be dead as to be asleep. with this advantage in the way of being dead - he isn't in anybody's road. Suppose a man lived for 200 years and slept 160 of ik He can only figure out when the thing is through that be has really lived 40 years, and in that 40 he neither cuts as much ice nor has half the fun the man has who passes in lus checks at 60 and out of the 60 has only slept S0 years. Is there any particular object, my boy, in simply lying round aBleep for 150 years, wearing out bedclothes and saving a trifle on funeral expenses? We think not. All there is in life worth living for you get while you are awake. All the time you ought to gpend asleep is just enough to enable you to keep awake the rest of the time. Sleep is a necessary evil, just so niuch good time that you have to give up in order to keep your stomach, liver and other organs in fair shape. Of course we have read a good deal about beautiful dreams, when angels hover overhead and all that, bat our experience is that this talk is almost altogether rot. When you are in good physical condition, you don't dream. When you dream, the angels aren't in that vicinity. It is when you have filled your interior with fatted swine and boiled cabbage that you retire to sleep, perchance to dream. To dream - aye, there is the rub ! - when you feel a four headed dog sittiug upon your vitáis and know that the horned and cloven tailed whangdoodle from the barren mountains of Hepsidam is crawling upon yon, breathing smoke and fire, and you are paralyzed, or you seem aïï at once to fiiid yourself in the midst of some gay and cultured assembly with no clothing on your person except perhaps a paper collar aud a pair of hose supporters and utterly unable to explain to the ladies and gentlemen present why you are there in this decollete costume or to take your departure. There is nothing angelic or heavenly about the average dream. On the contrary, it is hades and repeat. The young man who has to be routed out of bed at 9or 10 o'clock in the morning may live a good while, bnt the chances are that he won't amount to as much in life as a three legged dog in a jack rabbit chase. The proper thing, young fellow, is to sleep less and get a hnmp on yourself , even if you should pass out before you are 50. One year of life spent ia knocking rich, ripe, luscious persimmons is worth five sleeping iu the shade with the worms crawling over yonr person and the timber bugs trying to rol!


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News