Wit And Humor

Het by chanta- Tho church clioir. In time - four letters. A kid-napping case - a eradlo. An old theatro goer - lied ptiint. System is twin-sister to suecess. The motto of the hen is to eggshcll. What doos the pupil of the eye study ? (Joal is onc of the things that is made in voin. Kunaway pigs wcro the ffrst American All the citizens of the llub think theil city is tho Bosstown. There is more fashion in tlio city, hut more stiles in the country. t is strnngo, but true, that a luirse can eat botter when hc hun't ¦ bit in hts iimuth. The spots on the sun do not begin to créate tho dutarbanee usdo the freoUea on iliu duuL'hter. 'mmmdrum - Why do men fccl so mueli moro like footinL thfl hill collector (han in fbotmg the bill itscll? They have a racc-linr.so out we.st ealled "Chicago Girl." Of' oourae the hora.¦-liiii'r bal a double-rate iiriee forsfaoeiog it. A Uoston artist is creditcd with having paintad u onagt peel on the siilowalk so natural thst ÚX fat mei) sli])pcd down on it. " What on earth takes j'ou off to the st;ib!e o early every morning kU?ly?" ftiked a WOnwn of' hor hushand. " Curry hoMÏty." "8oidiera must be foarf'ully dishoneat," aid Mis. l'arúnjíton. "It seoms to ! an oooaiTeiHM cvitj' nf?ht fur a senlinel tu be reliüved of' I1L1 watcli." A Frenchmfin who attonded a fol hun( wtis asked wliore tlio meet c:uiiu off. 1 1 o had been thrown, so he replied that it oarae off hil banda and kneed. When tho uian dropped his voice did he break it. - [Salem 9nDbeam. W-n, didn't you ever hear of a man with a cracked voieo ? - I8tcubunville Berald. A Kangas boy carncd a nioc Jïible by oommittíng three bundred versea to mcui(iry, but lie trudcil hia lüble íor a shot-guii and aceidentally peppared bis aunt in the Therc are two kinds of orantes grown in ilii.s country ; one is the kind that h good tu eat, and the otber is the kind that is "Id on tho railroad trains. - [BurlingtOD llnwki'ji'. A St. Louis rich man drow up a wilt wliich was so patlietieally worded that it moved all hisrolativcH to toan, ft left all bis property to au orphao asylum. - [Bostou Poxt. It is a read -letter day fot I man when 1Ú3 wil'e goes on a piscaturial ezpedition into liis (tuat jx)cketH, and fishos up a note writteo in a gtrango feminine haud.- [Kuokuk Ghtte ( 'ity. "Silence íh golden." Aunt-" Hasany onc been at these preaeTTOs?" [Dead siI. " llave yon touebed tbem, .)miiiy'" Jinimy - " l'a never 'lowa me to Irilk at dinner." Kve was the first woman who ever went through Ule without collie to the pootoffioe. [ i u í'ii Record. The rcason being that Adam wouldn't letter. - [Free Praaa. Kve had no necessity to go to tbe poBtoffioe ; the male oome to hr.- [Baltímore Every Bstordar, Theo he never had the leaa uro of buying a three-oent stamp with a twcnty dollar hill. BloomiogtOD líye. A little girl in one of our publio sohools tlie otbot diy bad occasion to parsu tho word " angel." Coruing to tho gender she stopped ilirtmaycd, and askcd her teacher if' " then uro any men angeln. " A la primer: Wo saw a boy. lio was not a big boy. He did "siok" a small dog on i bii; ilog. The boy was not bit. Wns fho imall dog 1 i L V He vían oliawod. Tho íinall boy Bhould liave been cliawed ; but he was not. - [Sibley índex. Sunday tchool acholar to tho teacher- " 1 i 1 yoa Bty that tho hairs of my head ere all iiumberod?" Teacher - " ïes, my dear." S. S. "Well, then, (pulling out a liair and presenting it) - What's tho numbor of that onc?" - [Toronto (ri. Italy lias a standing arinyof ovor'2,(X)0,OOOsoldiort, aod about 3,569,897,000 organ-grínders, tlireo üfths of whom are roidunts of the United Statca, and twothirda of that number resido in Burlington, Ki tiltil .struot beins their l'avorite haunt. -