Wit And Humor

A gooJ pruphet - 100 por gent, Bonds that are hard to redcem - vagabonda. If you wish to take care of your health, take air. The mosquito alway.s settles before lie presenta his bill. The honeymoon should not end untilthe last quarter is gone. Kueipe for making your owu cye water, btick your finger in it. "It pays ia the end," eaid the smal! boy when he stepped on the wasp. "Define a gentleman," you say? Well, yes, I think I can. He's as gentle as a wotuan, and as manly as a man. - London Truth. "Crushcd strawberry" is a new Parisian color. Every red hcaded girl is a crui-hed .strawberry. The older a sparkling coquette or a í'ashionable belle grows the more matchless she becomes. A composilor who eannot agree with his wife says ho must have taken lier out of tne wrong tont. A gang of commercial travelers, just arrived, cali themselves the drum corps. They beat the world. The biggest fooi in the world is dead. Ile told his uiother in-law she lied. She did it with her liule &killet. Grandpa. - "Nuw, Tommy, can you teil me where port comes fiom ?" Tommy.- "No, air; but I know where it goes to." The que.stion is not pressed. Tlie Brigluon (Me.) News calmly says : 'The types last week made us say that the showers were nut sufficient to meet the wants of miikmeo,' etc., iüstead of millmen." "My dear," said a sentimental maiden to her lover "of what do those autumnal tinta, this glowing baldric of the sky, this blazing garniture of tho dying year, remind you?" '.'Pancakes," he promptly replied. A circus manager wanted a new name for his show, and a sophomore collegian suggestod "monohippic aggregation" as gooa, and the circus man had three towns billed before he was infonned that monohippic meant "onc horse." The BOD! of the Prince of Wales, who are learning the beauties of discipline in tliu royal navy, are lively boy. One of tneiu perlormsupon tho violin, and recently the otnerWM heard to y (o him: "Come, Bul, tuno up, artd va us '(Jod Save our Old Grundmnthcr.' " It looks bad for St. Louis in 1800. A utiiiiui in that city has just died, who was but 37 yeursuld, and theuiotlicr of twcotyonc ehlldren, of wlioui there were tliree pair of twins, tsvo sets of triplots, and four were bom at one birth. Her last words were: "If yonr census didn't come out right don't fílame me."