The Hammock

There tomcthiug about a lnimiiiocU Ihat is iiiilt-scrihablt", mui there is n ntle thai can be that uill itTBure sat'ety whlle sittinji in one of tlie quoer tilines. Tliere are peopit wlio believc '.lint a hainnteck undtirstaildt what, is goinjj 011, and occasionally ii)dulge$a joke, It is certajn that an oíd penan with a luie back eau swinr In a bamraock half ¦ dayand itwill ncvcr kick i. Servant gjrls and children t Dto a baiumock as Hnck as tlirce in a beu, ,aml there is no aanger, and let a spoony young couple .-it down In a hammock ever so carefully and it teems as though the confoundeu thlng was alive. and had taken a contract to spill t In-in ooi on the ground In al! sorts of embarra iliapes. Wliat it is that causes the comniotion will perhaps never br knöwn, without an Inrfestlgatlon hy gome inid(lle-ared penon, and, u the Maaon wal not so aear over, we wquIU investígate the blasted thing oursi-lf, in tlie interest "f our yonng ra wh an' In tlie full tlnsli of liaininockhood. Tliere can be hotlilng mucb more anoying lo u young eouple than to be sitting iilc liyside or faciügeacli other, in a hammock, lookins Uu eaefl "tlicr's eyee, and allowlne the love they dare not speak (o (how it.-cit' in thosc orba, and just i they are fet liiiL: h thooffb they couldn't live a minute naleu they claapad Htch other to each other1 heavlngboaönia, or at least one heftving bosom and one boiled shirt, and then have the lniininock turn bot-iile np and land them on the lack of tlieir nacks, on the ground, with c potnted toward the crab appleson the Ueea lo wliich the haininock is hitched, arnis fltnging wildly to puU down pantaloons lega, and hands convulsively clawing gravel and inuslin and delaine, wnlle blushee suffuse faces that but a moment bcfore were backgrou.id lor the picture of Jove's young di-fiiin. and acrowdof spectators on the hotel veranda laujrfllng and gáying, "Set "ein up airain," the haniniock sliakes itsell' and turnt riirlit slde up for other victima, as ÜlOUgh it kneu whul it liad t.'en doutff. and enjoved il. 'l'lielc are youns inen all over tlie land wlio have been tlii'ough s-uch expertenoes, and had to walk backwara all the way to tlie house, owiiii; to Smore veins beliiK discovered in the wearing apparel below the suspendere, whlle th numbexof glrla that Imve been niuitilied by haviiiK to roto the bonte with theirback hair in one hand. their skirts In the .other, w hile six places beureen the polonaise and tlie earria(8 were Mhing aks the tpotbacht from contact with the gravel path, are legión, and we cali apon the autliorities to top the bammock as a nuisanee. .M(in: bare been broken up by Imninioeks than by all the Bunday tchooli in the world, and no gir] wlio is bow-lej;geil, or bas an ankle like a rutabaga, sliould ever trust herself in a hamroock, even thoughitit held by halt a doen trieml, as the hammook iil ihy at a piece of paquick as a skitti.-b liorse, and in sucli a moment as you tbink not you are on all tours, yuur head dizzy, uud iL there Is a hole in youi' stockini; as small as au old miser's hcjirt, it will look to outsider as big as the gate to ¦ fair ground. o, a hammock is worsc thau a bicycle.