Waking Up The Wrong Man

ISill Nve. In the Denver (Col.) Tribune, sayg: (fee lühr, aboat 12:W, Judge, I lieanl some OBC itép along to the window oi my boadotr. Hearlag it at that time of iiifrlii. I reckoned tbat something crooked u ai going on sü ' "''I out of bed and got my (rest blood leaieber and liver puritier, Mlli tlic neu style of center lire and rartridge ejecUr. and slid Dp to the window, calculating to ahoye a tonic into wuocver it might be tlmt was picknicking about my claim. I looked out so as to Ket ll good idea of wlitre I wanted .to sink ou liini, and tlieu I Hioaght before I mangled lnui l'd aak if ln-'d auy chotee about lileli par of nis vitáis hc wanted to preserve, so sinrs out to Mm: "Look out below tliere, pard, for I'm go ng to cali the meeting to order in a min ute. .lust thrnw Bp your hands, if you picase, and make the grand halHng sijrn o di-tress, Of I'll have to mutílate you. Jus ahow me aboat when you'd like to liave tlie fatal wound, and be spry about It, too, because Ive gat my brief costume on, am rening air is chili." He didVl understünd me, apparently, for a gurgling laugh wolled uj) trom below, and the party sings back i 'Hullo, i'atty, is that you? Just lookin' t you'il iired up jet. Yon know I wís to come 'round and flg you if .second leven was out Well, Vit been down to the old man 's tosce wli.it was on tlie board. Three is two liours late and four U reportcd on time. Tliere'a two sevens out, and two lectiOBBVf nine. Skinny'II takc out liist Keven, and Mmity'll ]. uil "her tli 10-J. It you and me for second scven, wilh Ltmber Jim on front end and Krenchy to hold ilown the caboosc. First ñve is upsidc down in a wah-out this side of Ogalalla, and old what's-his-name that run 2H Kot bis crown sheet caved in, and telescoped htobeadllgbt Into the Heir Jernaalem. Y qu kiinw the little Swede that used to run exlra lor Hotbox In the emterani lor a hile f Well, he"s uring on "i.'iH, and lie'i uniler three tlal.s and a ooal-oil tank, with a beiiiu acrofti lus eouple, uod his ¦ystem is more or leas relaxed. He' gone t( the sweet subsequently, too. lïest of the boj a are more or UMleiii.iralied and sidetracked (bf repairs. Nowwm Son't moiikey around mach, lor it jroadoo't loom up like six-liits and j;o out on the truck, tlie old man'II giVe you a time eheek and the Oriental rnuld bouuce.1' 'J'i.eu 1 slowly uncorkcd the jfieat blood pnrifler, and, morlng to the rootllfrhu where tlie silvery moonbeams could tuuch up my UaszliiiK outlineg, I said: "l'ardner, 1 am pleaaed and jfratilkd to have met you. I dou't know the lir-t danjf bnated ihlDjg you have said to me, hut that's my misfortune. 1 am a piala ininer, kikI my home is in the digMÜTC apparatni of the earth, but for urofesaioual meJodr oL cliin you cortainly lake the cake. You also take the cake-basket and what cold pie ¦ lctt, on tlie dump. Mv name is Woodtick William.-. [ di.-eoveivd the FeTerish Hornet up on Blippery Klluin. I am prond to know you. Keepiiht oa jretiinj; mmc and more tamiliar itli yötfr profes¦Un, and by-and-by. wlien nobody can onderstand yon, yon will be promoted and retpected, and fou will at leunt De a sieeping-car conductor and revel in the bihest mental calm and wide shoreless -ca of Intelltctual stagnation tbat the world ever saw. You will -" Then l hiok the jillow-sham and wiped ¦ome of the pulveri.ed cracker oö' the soles 'f ii iv feet, and went to bed in a large gob of gloom.