Mr. Spoopendyke

''Now, my deur," s-aid Mr. Bpoopendyke, hurrvinj; Up to Ma witc'sroom, "if you'll come down in the yard I'vc };ot I piOMtnl surprise for you." "VVhat is it?" askcil Mk Spoopemlyke; "uhat have you got, a bo "Ou grinned Mr.Spopendyke. "It's aomethlng likc a boi "Iknow! :i new parlor carpct. Thafa what it hP "No. it i-m't, i'itlicr. I Hkl tomething like a MM{ tlmt i-, it gons wlicn yOU makc it. ' il." "Is ii puint for the kitchen walUf" Boopendyke, Innocently. "Ko, it ain'i: mul il iiin't il hog.-liead of stove-l)l:icking, uur it alnt t ci of dlnlngrooin l'innitiui'. nor t ain't seven grogs of stationary waslitulis. Now gnMi agaln." ¦ 'l'lirn it must be somc lace curtaini tur the sitting-rooin wlodow. Im't that just gplendid ¦" and Mi-. Bpoopeiidyka pttted lier husbaml m both cbeeluand danoed up ind down witli d'lilit. "It'su blcycle, tbmt'a wiiat ii is!" gjrowled Mr' Bpoopendyke. "I bought it lor excrcise, and I'in going to ride it. Come don n and see me." "Well, ain't I jrlad!" tjacolated Mi ¦-. Spoopendyke. "lou ongbt tobara non exercise, and it tbere'l exi-rcise In anytbing, it's in :i liicyile. Do let's 8ee it !" Mr. Bpoopendyke oondocted bU uifc to kbe yard, and deacanted at lengtfa on the ments of ttic maobiue. "In a li'W coks l'li hr alilo to makt I mile a minute," be -ai.l. : bt (teadied the apparatoi againat the clothet po and (irepared (o mount. "Now, yoo watcb jo to the end of lliN patli." Be L'"t i fooi Into one treadle, and went baad fint Into ¦ Sower-natab, me machine 09 top witli i prodigiOUt crash. "Hadn't you better tie it op to Om paal until yon gi i oi stel Mrs. Bpoopendyke. "Leare me akme, wil! nV demanded Mr. Bpoopendyke, ¦truggllng to an keel. I'in doloL DHMl 01 Ulil Mivu'Ü. Nou you ïioiii on, and keep yosr niouth simt. It takes ¦ little praetlce, that'i all." Mr. Bpoopendyke monnted agaln, and cnttled alone foor or fivc feet, and Bopped over on the (frasa plot. "Tluit's aplendld J" commended hiawlfe. "You've got the idea alrcady. I.ct me bold it tbr you tbis time." "If yon'vc got any extra itrengtfa yon Iiold your tongue, wül ye?" growledMr. Spoopendyke. "It don't want any bolding. It ain't alivi'. Stand back and };ic me room, now.' in mini in;ii .Mr. spoopenciyice uimu-u to the ciul i' the natb, umi ent down in a hoap among the flower pot. "Tlmt's Jad loo lOTely for anythlngP proclalmed Mr. Spoopeudyke. "You made more's ¦ milu a minute that Urne." lome umi take i offP roared Mr. Bpoopendyke. "Help me up! Dod-gart tin blcycle!" and Uie worthy gentleman truggled and plunged around like a whale in ghallow water. Mis. Bpoopendpke aaalsted in rigfatlng liim :md bru.-liin liiin ofl. "I kaow whereyou make yoor mictake," s=aid shc "Th litUa wheslougfattogofinÁ like i buggy. Try it tbat waycolng back." "May 5e ou :m ride thia UeycM bettei than leun!" bowled .Mr. Bpoopndyke. "You know all aboatwbeeU! what you need now i :i lantcrn in your mouth and ten mlnntea behtnd Urne tobe the Cl dockl If yoa bad a backet of water and ¦ bandle voOd niake a tteajn grladstone! Dont yon ne the big wheel has got t go "Yes, dear," mornrared Mrs. Spoopendyke; "bat 1 thoaght if you practiotd with the little wheel at lirst, you wonldnt liavi! so furto f all ." '"WJio fi-ll ?" demanded Mr. SpoopiMiilyke. "Dldn't vou see me stop offi I trlpped, tlmt's all. Now you just watch me go back." Once inore Mr. Spoopendyke started in, but the bU n heel tantea anmnd and looked hini in the l.ioe, and thcn, began to Stai.': "Look out!" scjuealetl Mrs. Spoopendyke. Mr. Bpoodendyke wrenched away, and kicked, and strujrgled, but it wat of na arail. Down be carne, and tha bicycla was a bopeleaa reek. "Whafd yc ycll tuf" )o shrickc-d. "Couldn't If nnn jnnrmnMlj mouth hm:Wbat d'vc think y'are, lanyhow - a foghorn? Dod-Ead the Bioaily blcycle!'1 And Mi Spoopendyke hit it a kiek that folded him up like i bolt of niuslin. "Nerer mind, my dear," consoled Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Ini afrald the exectoe was too violent anywaj', and I'ni ratber glad you broke it. "Is'poseso," tnorted Mr. Spoopendyke. "There's sixty dollars gone." "Don't worry, love. I'll go without the earpet and curtalna, and the paint will do well enougb iu the kittheu. It me rub you with árnica." Hr. Spoopendyke was too deeply 'ricvcil bjr bil wife s conduct to acoept any office at her hands, preftrrlog to punish her by letting bis wonndt smart rather than to get well, and thcreby relieve lier of any anxiety 8he broueht on herself by actins so