Strange Occupations

Several days ago 1 was callod to New York on business and spent considerable time in the Kastern portion of thu city. While riding on a Third nvenue horse-ear, ono morning, I casuallv glanced through the steam-dinimeil window, and a strange sign, swinging to and fro in a cross street, caugln nay eye. Upon it in large, bold letters was this inscription: : SOCIETY FOIt TUK ÜNCOCRAGK.VEXT OK THE WKARIN'O OF CI.KA.N SU1KTS. : As I was near ray journey's end, I walked out to the rear platform and said to the conductor: "I suppose you have often noticcd that strange sign in the street below?" "Yes, and alrnost every observing person who rides on my car sees if, too,' and asks me what the meaning of it is. Now, I think that the sign tells the whole story, and explains the object of the society, is there really a society of that namo? Why, of course thorc is, and it lias a big iield to work in. A queerlookihg chap, with gold spectaclcs on, saw the sign a day or two ago, and langhed as if he would split. He camc outhereand talked with me about it. 'There's an Knglishman over here now, namcd Matthew Arnpld.'.says he, 'and ne was formerly of the opinión that Amcricans changed their shirts onlv once a week. If he should get on thi-; car point that sign out to hini, and teil him it was hung out as soon as hi views of this country were published.' " "I suppose that is not the only amusing sign you see on your trip," I queried. "Well, no. When I first started in this business, about two years ago, I thought that almost everv one was pretty much after the same general pattern. Never thought rnuch on the subject, you see. Uut all the sights I observe, and the queer stories 1 hear told, have opened my eyes. If you ever have a day lo yourself and enough money for 'fares,' just ride up Third avenue and the Howery with me a dozen or so times. What would you see? Well, what. wouldn't you? Lots of sin and Puflering; but plenty that is amusing. You could get any number of "wrinkles" for making money if you were smart. How do you suppose the thousands of persons whose homes are on this avenue make a living? Perhaps ninety out of a hundred are engaged in some trade, business or profession that you are familiar with, but the other ten scrape the dollars together by methods you could never dream of. Do vou read the New York papers? Yes? Well. then, you have often seen articles about those who follow queer occupations,- pieking up cigar stubs, to be made over into cigarettes; killing and dressing sparrows, to be served up in restaurants as reed birds. The reporters are sharp, but of course thero are many little secret trades that they cannotget hold of. Thcre is one person, a little further up the avenue, that you should cali upon. No. Here is 'the place. Jump off and have a talk with lier." The car stopped for a moment, and 1 f olio wed the adviee of the talkative conductor. In a stairway leading to the upper floors of a dingy brick buildin was a sign reading as follows: : Madame Blank : Costumkk, ¦:y.TI.-piacTcEuetPa,intalOut.NaHrany. : I mounted up the stops and found a duplícate sign on the door of the second Hoor front room. A knock brouo-ht a cheery response, and I entered. Without rcvealing my errand I made a small purchaso to adorn a fictitious postume and bogan a conversation with the proprietress, remarking that I had secn her stramme announcement on the sign, and asked if she had much business in "painting out black eyes." "WelL, I cannot say that I havo a large business in that line, but still a number of persons with damaged opties apply to me in the course of a year. Those who receive black eyes, as a general rule, are not the people who are carefulof their appearance. Withmany, a green shade will serve their purpose, and those whose eyes are blackened by accident frequently receive other injuries at the same time, "and are compeíled to romain home until the bniises are no longer visible." "Whatelass of people do you most often trcat?" "That is a question whieb. I hardly know how to answer. I think, however, from the conversation of those who come here, that they are generally respectable young men, clerks, lawyers. and even gentlemen of leisure. Mv theory is, and it is pretty well borne out by the replies I receivo to the few questions I propound, that a young man who is about to be marfied ís compelled by the custom which has obtained in this city to go upon a sort of a "spree" with his bachelor friends just before the day of the ceremony. This is very wrong, of course, but the young men, now-a-days. have a way of doing things thev should be ashamed of. A party of jolly fellows going from saloon to saloon, and often drinking to excess, arenot unlikolv to get into trouble. If they reeeiw black eyes only. they are fortúnate, for I have heard of cases where they lose thoir lives as welL Whpii the groom wakes up on themorning 'ie is to be married and linds one af Us eyes in doop mourniug, his foelings are not to be envied, I suppose. ït is too late to postpone the ceremony and he does not care to walk up to the altar looking as he does. Tlien he comes to me and implores me lo disguise his injury. I have freqnently liad young men in this oo&ditkm offer roelarge (umi ii I ivmilil paint out the marks, but when I have done what they ask they forget their promises and to beat me down on the small charge I make." "Did you ever paint out black eyes for women?" , "In two cases only. Both of these ¦women had been beaten by drunken husbands and tried to shield the brutes from the indignation of their friends." - N. Y. Cor. Albanxj Arqus. ? ? - A big man in San Francisco was asked what size in boots he wore. He .grinned and said: "The last shoemaker ;that measured me said I wore one size