Pungent Paragraphs

- Nine hundred and eighty-four men enlisted in. the navy last year. - N. 1'. Herald. - Chicago boasts of a lady. now niñoty-four years oíd, who uséd to sil in George Washington's lap. The mora wo hcar of George tho more wo gcl shocked. - Philadelphia Cali. - Dr. Bernard Carpenter says: "Man commits suicide when he pays no attenüon to what he eats and drinks. Give me the charge of a penon's food, and I vvill control him murally and pbysically." - Chicago ínter Occan. It is very fnnny, bat as a general rule the waiter in a swell restaurant la about the only personabout the premises who doesn't wait for anything. The man who orders the chop does most of thewaiting. - Boston Stir. - If a man wants peace to roign in the household he should eount ten before speaking at times when he feels as if his clothes don't lit him. And on days when the kitchen stove doesn't draw hu should count 480. - Middlalown Transcript. - A sewing machine agent was recently attacked by a íierco catamount ncar Milford, Pa. The iutrepid agent cauglit the beast and sold him four new machines and two old ones on the installment plan. The eatamount was unable to say no. - Chicago Ucr.t - "Are you having much practice now?' askod an old Judgo of a young Iaw3'er. "Ye3, sir, a great deal. I thank you." "Ah, I'm glad to hear it. In what line is your practice particularly ?" "Well, sir, particularly in economy." - Judge. - A merchant traveler at dinner requested the waiter to bring him a piece of rare beef, and when it carne it iras rare, indeed. "Waiter!" ho remarked warningly, as he looked at the undone dish. "tes, sah," responded the darky, 'Take this beef out, please, and kiü it." The wailor crawled into a napkin-ring and disappeared. - Merchant Traueler. - Young Blabbitt has been makinf, calis at stated intervals for somo time. Sunday night he called as usual, and after waitmg an hour in the parloT the girl's little brother came in, and in rather a sheepish manuer askod to seo Blabbitt's nose. "See my nose!" exClaimcd Blabbitt, "What "do you want to see my nose for?" "Well, l'lummer Plunkitt was over last night and Maria promised to marry him, and ma said she thought you'dfind your nose out of joiut when you callud again.- l'hiladelphia CaH. - Just tall enough. - ¦he took my ;o;it- I'm i-ather taU, Ainl Bhe is not so very; The ;pivard from the hall; She " tilo fairy, Ju-it balanoed ¦¦' ie Beoondrtair, My Li1' a; ooftfi barden holding. AnJ uien ber tand- the kladeet pairThe collar down weic foldlng. There never wa an eye so clear, No Ups sored in movinj?. "Just tal] enourli, now, a.n't T, lonr?- wn li'. .in Inving." Just t;ill i ye tq tye Kan horizi i "Justtall enough to- let me try?- Yes, taU enouifh- Gooil niarUtl"