"a Little Nonsense."

- "I'd hate to bo in j-our shoes," said a woman, as shc was quarreling with a neighbor. "You couldn't get into them, sarcastieally replied the neighor. - Chicago Ilerakl. - A penny paper is to be starled here to lili a long feit want. Why these wants aro made of feit no one knows, except it prevents theirgetting warped. Whooil-PittsburghClironicle-Tclegrapli. - Mrs. Pinaphor thinks telegraphy ought to be niuch cheaper than postage, because the former can perforra a job . n five minutes which reqr.ires the mails frpm one to six days to iiccomplisk.- Norristown Herald. - A little boy sat on the floor playing. Suddenly he set un a howl. "Henry, what ia the matter?" askcd bis mother. "The cat scratched me." "Why, the cat is not here. Wheti did she scratch you?" "Yesterday." "Well, why aro you crying now?" "'Cause I forgot it then." - Arkansaw Traveller. - "May I trouble you to teil me what time it is?" said a trim old lady at St. Nicholas table d'hote not long ago to her vis-a-vis. "Certainly," said Ou gentleman addressed, taking out bis watch; "it is just seven o'clock." "Thank you," she said, "that's my pill time." And sbe took ono then and tbere. - Hotel Mail. "Mamma," said a little boy, "this paper says that the latest styles of slippers are "trimmed with swan's down." "Yes, dear," replied mamma, "and what of it?" "Oh, nothing," said the little boy, "only if you want to bo in style you had better get a pair. There ain't any swan's down on your old ones." -Philadelphia Cali. "What has become of our wonderful crimson sunsets, I wonder?" s.-iid Tom. "Why," replied Laura, thoughtfully, looking up f rom the Bazar, "I suppose they have all gone out of style. Everything is very quiet and elegant this s'pring. I knew thoso winter sunsets were too high-colored to last long. They might do for the evening," she said presently, in a reflective mooil, "but they were too loud for the street." And, bendingover the description of a new walking suit, she did not sec Toni, fallen f roni his ehair, staring wiloiy at her and painfully gasping for breath. - N. Y. Sunday "Courier. "Well, mydear," said a man to the wife of his bosom, "shall I cali for you, say at thrce o'clock this afternoon ?" "Cali for me! Why, what for?" inquired his wife in an evident tone of surprise. 'To go to the milliner's after a hat." "Aftera hat! Why, hubby, didn't ¦we "et a new hat for me onlv ycsterday? What on earth are you talking about?" "O, I forgot, suroiy. Why, yes, so we did. I see it now vciy plainly. ít is only every other day you want a new hat." By stepping ont hastily and the door shut he rnanasred to