He Went

[Life] I. "Hey, BUI, I Rot ther tail fixod all right, so han I say 'go' you git up an' dust!" Inconsolable] Sorrow. Master-W'hat ia tho matter with you, .Tea? You are liever around whon I want you, and you apend all your time in thi bar-room. Vak-t - Ah, monsieur, the loss of my poot wifü mukeH mo suffer so. Ie is to try a,ud coiihoIo in vMi-lf that I drink. Master- And when do you tliink you will bfl roiirtoletl öuflioiently Valet- Alas! monsieur, I teel that I shal be inconsolable! - Vetite Jomnnl. A Man of ('mmer. I.avin - Well, goodness knows, ] wouldn't be in that woman's shoes. rhasinsiiis- Why ie that, my dear?" Lavina (with the air of onewho ia abou) to criiHh Bomebody) - Uerause they ar about tliree izes too large for me. l'lias;i'BÍiiB (not easily crushed)- HeaTen.s! What big feet sho must havel- Dotruit Frt'd i'rc.s.s'. Nat of Permanent Nature. Customer- Those aeem to be very finí diamonds. Are they of pura water? Jeweler- Yes, and thcy are as sparkling as the tears of a young widow. Customer- I! rthat's the kind ol diamonds they are I don't want them. Th water would not last very long.- Tezat Siftings. Why the Plano Vu Loit. "I hear thut you werecompletcly burned out, Bigfigger. Lost every thing, I suppose." "Oh, no! House pon?, of course, but all niy furnittire and penon&l ctfects were saved. livery tliing, in (act, except the piano." 'Wil y waan't that HavLvl'" "BacailM none ol tli tirt'iiii'u rould play uo it." '-l'hiludelphin Vuil. ¦ ' Uuw in a Blacksmitli shop. Auvil- You aro a blower. Helio ws - You belong to a ring. Anvil- You are "on the forge." Iiellows - Liar anvülaiu! And so tliey exchangixi horse-Bliocroncos ot mutual conaideration, shovel audtongs. -Boston Transcript. He Hul the SymptonM. Doctor- What are your aymptoms, Blr? ratient- I can't Bleep, though I try evcry way to do it. First I lie on one side ul tin-u I lie on the oibex. Doctor - You can lie on one side as well B on the other? Patiënt - Oh, yes. Doctor- Ah, you are a lawyer, then? - Boston Bencon. Valuable tut a Kmpnalie. Mr. Iauarstcin - I can sell you dosa shirts for yon tollar, und throw in a oollar putton. Dot vas tho pest I can do. in. CuHtomer- A dollar is too liiph. 1 ui buy the IMne (-""mIh tor seventv-(ie runt. Mr. iHiiiicatcin (imprwataelr) My liint, doMhlrteM &U itorchcd ly Jaelme.- N. Y. Sun. Munt Ite a Widower. "What reaon have jou asking lor leave of absence for a week?" "A domestlc aflliction, ir." "Ali! very sorry. A iiear relativo, 8 it"' '¦Well -I air- you 8et, Bir, i'ui guiug til