Here Come Da Sludge

What is given out has a way of coming back Before this life is through. -Leon Thomas

A giant, black floating ooze of sewage is expected to wash ashore on the beaches of New York and New Jersey by 1977.

This is the report from Brooklyn College Scientist William Harris who has been monitoring the human-made black sludge deposit that was sighted off the New York coast last December.

Dr. Harris says that the gooey black ooze is the residue of sewage dumped into the ocean by the New York area's 13 million inhabitants. The expanding and extremely dangerous substance is being fed by the five million cubic yards of wastes annually being dumped into a depression in the ocean floor just off Manhattan.

The sludge, currently causing great consternation to the residents of coast areas, is said to be moving shoreward at a rate of "a mile to a mile and a half" each year, and at the present rate should wash ashore within the next two or three years.

Besides polluting beaches with dangerous bacteria beyond the point of human inhabitation, the sludge is also posing a threat to the entire Atlantic Coast food chain, as fish eat the noxious and largely untreated wastes.

At present there are no governmental plans to stop the march of the moving shit, beyond idle speculation that the only way to get rid of it might be to bomb it from the sky. So residents of that area of the Atlantic Coast may never be able to set foot on their beaches again for years, destroying resort economies, and the consumption of fish from the area could become a nationwide health hazard.