This Modern World

THIS MODERN WORLD by TOM TORROW

This week: NRA Spokesgun Snub-Nosed Sam speaks with new NRA President Charlton Heston!

Chuck, you've said schoolyard shootings are "a child issue, not a gun issue."*

That's true, Sam...since the shooters are almost always troubled boys----there's clearly just one solution here... the criminalization of awkward behavior in adolescent males!

Hmmm...so at the first sign of shyness or introversion in a teenage boy--

--lock him up and throw away the key! Problem solved! End of story! there's nothing else society can possible do!

Well, then--I guess that wraps us up for this week! Join us next time when we'll discuss your inalienable right to surface-to-air missile launcher!

So you want to go pop off a few at the shooting range?

I thought you'd never ask, big fella!

Clip-N-Save Bonus Panel: Charlton Heston's Reasons You Should Own A Gun (NO. 37 in a series)!

--Because you never know when some damn dirty ape with try to put his stinking paws on you!

Sorry Mr. Heston! We mistook you for an easily victimized non gun owner!

It won't happen again!