A Node To A Noyster

Fov the Argus. Ole phelltr, I've Btopt To have a tawk with you - & may be I'il giv exprcshun to mi pent up phelinks. You'r un oyster, are you I- on Ut the real oíd kind. No Yankee humbug, , ííor Bivrnuni make believe- but A real genuwine o.vster- ketehed tha M Ín Balümore, or smn other furrin port. And fetehed to Miss Ann Arbor, For us poor Wolverines to fill üur stumics with. lo the first place, You was shet up in a iron kaig Made out uv tin, and could'at git out, Or ma be you would'nt 1)3 here With me a speechifyin to you in lan■Ouidge intiroly abovc ycur natchural Comprehcnsion. No sur-ee- I ge s You would'nt - i reckon you'd out sticks A nd biu at Ihe bottum uv the Allagnny Oshun, or Chesapeck ba - Or suti) other sen port town, whero mud Grows plenty. You'r a queer lookin critter any how - Haf animal and } sumthin else. Seems tome, you look a little sickly - Like you had Dipthera or seseshun fever. Speet our klimatc don't soot you - and may ba You'v got the agur. I wonder What your dict is - you kant eat much , Kaus you look eo mighty puny. Your provender must be different from that Uv any other bein on this terra firma. Fot you won't eat any thing fouud In these diggina. I bjleave you'r 'ristooralie And most alfired sassy. You needn't Look indignunt, fc snap your ugly eyes, When you ain't got any - for Michigan Kant be beet this side the Koeky mouutaics For her provissiou. But say.ole phellcr, What do you eat? You liv on mud, I reckon, May be on salt water - perhaps on faith, - If so, I've nothin more to sny. Sum pholka say That you'r near akin to the human race. I don't beleav it tho, fur i'd hait To owu you for my grand daddy, Like Bill Denion sais he duz. You need'nt git insultod, and look Alniighty ratliy - for i giv expreshun, To mi onest sontiments. Tha sa You'r good to eat. I rather think Sich fodJer wood make a pheller Iractious 'Twasyou, old hoss, what got into the boys, Totlier niteat the aboiishun meetin, And made 'em kick up sich a thunDrun rumpus. You and whisky Sot thair blood to bilin, and made eoi Had as blazes. It was yu That skrewed thair pvtritism up And made em pitch ole Piller Parksberry, And lliatolher woman thru a winder. Whieh kawsed ye pioters in ya N. Y. paper, And a mes3 of tamal Hoi about ya stugen'.s Written by ye blamed oöicious phelier. It's mean for you to stur up a body's stuiuie Or any other man's, and make him do So mity wicked. I say its mean For you to do it, & you kant deni it- Kaws it's troo as preechin - its so - Factótum - tis by hoky. But pholka hav eat you, &, i'vo Biaof that number. The pile that 's in My stumie now, is sumthin less Than }4 a bushel. Seems to me that peeple Must hav slrong wills, when tha eat you. I woodn't do it now, for lots uv money - Not for torty shiners, all in hard pewter, 'NVell hoas ! I wood'nt - kaus I aint well, Aud you look rather nasty. I'm gitten sick - I bav a quiverin ' In mi eye iid, and a pane a eumin In mi epigastrio- it i feel dredful streaked. ' I've haerd uv phellers bein bit by mad doga, And made to bark like fury. I've heerd uv phellers bein cUarmed By suaiks, and made to krawl round lika 'em ' But tha kood'nt feel as bad as 1 doo. ' Jemimah ! but I do feei curious. ' Them Oisters is mak:n me sick, or else ' l've gol the kolera. O o o o. i'll go to Injiany And tall em all about it. l I