A Foraging Party In Virginia

A huraorous writer ia tbe Sunday Mercury gives this aniusing illustration of conservatism: Upon quittiug the Strawberry Festival I returned post-hasto agaiu to Paris, where I arrived just in time to stert with Captain Bob Shorty aud a company from the Comió Soction oí tho Mackcrel Brigade ou a foraging expedition, We went to look up a few stiaw beds for the feeding of the Anatomical Cavalry horses, my bov, and the conservative Kentucky cbap went along to ee that we did not viólate the constitution and tho rights of man. "It's my opinión, comrade," sa}'s Capt. Bob Shorty, as we started out, "t's my opinión, my Union ranger, that this here unuatural war is gotting worked down to a very fine poiat wlicn we c;in't go out for an armful of forage without taking the constitution along ou an ass. 1 thiuk," says Capt, Bob Shorty, "that Üie constitution is as much out of place hore as a eet of faney barnes would be in a drove of wild buffaloes." Can such bc tho case, my boy - can such be the oase, my boy - can such be tbe case? Then did our revolutionary fori'futliers live in vain. Jlaving moved along in gorgeous cavalcade until about noon, -we stopped at t lio house of a First Family of Virginia who verc just going to dinner. Capt. Bob Shorty ordercd the Mackerels to stack arnis and draw canteens in the front door yard, ;ind tlien we entered the doinicil and salutcd the douiestic massmeeting in the dwing root. 'We come, sir," says Bob, addressing ihe venerable and high-inindod chivalry at the liead of the tablo, "to ask you if you have any old straw beds that you dou't wiint, that. eould be used for the cavulry of the United States of America' Tbe ehivalry imly pauseil long -enough to thvow a couple oí' pie platos at us, aud then says he : "Aro you a cursed abolitionist?" Tlie c.onaervative Kectucky oliap tcpped hastily forward, aud says he : :No, my dear sir, we're tho conservativo element.1' The chivalry 's rcnerable wife, wbo was a fcnalc Southern Confederaoy, leaned back a little in her chair, so that her little son could seo to tbrow a tea-cup at me, and says she : "You ain't '1'1'ilnme reporters - bc your" "We ire all noes and no aye?. Quite a. feature iu social intercourse, tny boy.'1 The as;ed c-hivalry eaused thrce Iresh chairs to be placed at the table, and having failed to discharge the fowling piece which he had pointcd at Capt. Bob y, liy reason oí dampness in the cap, Le waivcd us to fcats, and says lie: 'Sit down, püür LireÜDgï of a gorilla Icspotj and karn wlmt, it is to taste the lospitality of a southcru gentleman. - Ion are Liucoln hordes," says the chivalry, shakiug his white locks, "and have come to butcher tho Southeru Confederacy, but the southcru gentleman k.nows jow to be courtcous even to a vaudal foe." Here the chivalry switched out a cano which he had eoncealed behiud him, and made a blow at C'apt Bob Shorty. !'See here," says Bob, iudigiiautly, "I'll be-" "Hush I" saj-s the conservative Kentucky chap, agitatedly, ''don't irrítate the old patriarch, or the future amicable reconstrucción of the Union vvill be out of the (jueation. He ia naturaUy a little provoked just now," says tho Keutucky chap, soothingly, 'but wu must show him tliat we are his l'riends." We all sat down in peape at the bospitable board, iny boy, only a few sweet potatoes and coru cobs being thrown by the children, and fouiid the fare to be in keeping with the situation of our disttacted countiy - I may say war-fare. "In consequeiiop of the biockade of the Washington Ape," says the ehivalry, pleasuntly, "we oniy have oue course, you sec, but even these last year's sweet potutot'g must be luxuries to nierceiial-y mudsills accustomed to buska." 1 luid just roaclied out uiy píate, to be helped, uiy boy, when tliere carne a great íioiso iïoui tho Mackeiels il) the íront door J'ard, "What's tliat ?" saya Cnpt. Bob Shorty. "O, notliing," says the female Confederacy, taking anotlier bitc of hoe-cake. - 1 l've only told one nf tho servants to tlirovr soma hot water on your reptile hireüngs." As Gapt. Bob Shorty turncd to thank her for her cxplanation, and vvhíle bis píate was extended, to be helped, the agcd chivalry fircd a pistol at hiin ucross tlie table, tho ball just grazuig his head ' and entering Ihe wallbehiud liim. "By iü that's blue!" s:iys Capt. Bob Sliorty cxcitedly, "uow l'll be - " É]3e cal ui, now; be calm," says the conservativo Kentucky cliap, lmstily, "don't I teil you ihat il's only natural fur the jood old soul to be u iittlu provoljed? - lf you go to irrítate bist, we eau uever live iGguthcr as brelbmi again." Madera being thus rendcred pleasant, my boy, we (piickly iiuislied the simplt; incal; and ts Capt. l$ob Shorty warded off tlie carving-knife just tlirown at liiui by the Chivalry's littla son, he turned to the fVinale Coufederaoy, and says he: "Many thunks for your kind hospitali ty; and now about the straw bed.-i?" The Virginia matron threw the viae gar sruel at him, and suys she: "My servauts liave already giyen one to your seorpions, you nasty Yankee." "Of cour3e," svys the venerable ehivalry, juet missing a blow at me with a bowio knife, "of course your despicable government will pay me for my proporty " "Pay 2oti.''' says Capt. Bob Sliorty, hotly, '"now Vti be- " "Üertaiuly, it will, niy frier.d," broko in the conservativo Keutucky chap, eagerly, "the Union troops come hero as your friends; for they muke war on nonu but traitors." As we left our domicil, my boy, brushing from our cuats the slops tlat liad just boen thrown upon U3 frora an upper window, I saw the chivalry's children training a fowling-piecefYoin the roof and hoistiug the flag of the Soulbern Gonfederaoy on one of the chimncys. And will it be possible to regain the love of these noble pcoplu again, my boy, if we treat them consiitutiouallyV We til .11