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On Hand In Good Season

On Hand In Good Season image
Parent Issue
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The Peoría ISil tells the following rood story : An oíd merchantof the town of R , n the oíd Bay Stato, was noted for hia iishonesty. Aftcr isany years of fraudu[ont practioes, he vcry suddenly, and to the great surprise of all who knew him, beoanie very pious and joined the popular cburoh of tho town. One Sunday evoninz, while exhorting the brethren, he remarked that ho liad done many hings for which he felt very sorry, and ie deemed it his duty to malee full restitution to those whora he liad wronged; ie íhcref.jro notified all suoh that if they woulo cali at his store he would do so. A bout four o'clook tho next morning a gentleman called ut his house, aud aróused bina from his bed. Raising the window, he demandad the business of the visitar, at that oarly hour of the morning. "Is tbis Mr W ?" '; Tliat is my name, sir." " Woll, I uriJpvstaiulyou have offered to make restitution to all those whom you have chcated You will remember that npon ono occasion I suffcred by you to the extëtSt of fifty dcllars, and I havo cal'.ed to get it." " Wliy did you uot wait till proper hoars, and thon cali at my store ? " " Siraply, bèeauüo I thdught if I did, Hiere Wóiilá be such a d - 1 of a rush there I woüldn't get anytliing." vS" I' was a llllkit f Lo'J Eldon, when Utorney general, to closo his speeches w'th some remarks justifying his own c-harac'er. At tbo trial of Horne Tc.oko. speaking of his own reputution, feo aaid : " It is the liitie inheritanco I have to kavc tny chilJren, .ivid hy God'b holp, I will le'ive it unimpaired." Ilere he shcd toars, and to the astoniskment af thnso present, Mttford, the solicitar general, bogan to wesp. "Just look at Mitf.ird,' said a bystander to Horne Tooke. ' What on earth is he crying for ? " replied. " IIo is crying to think what a little inheritanoe Eldon's childron are likely to get !" _ É I ■ II NYlum young Hodge first came up to t iv.'iiiiis lathor told kun it. would be polite, when benig helped at d rat) Br, to say to tho liosí, '-"felf tkat, ifyou picase." [t so happeaed that aftlio fir-t dititier to wliich lic was invitQ.l, a suoking-pij! wa3 om cf the dishcs. Tho host, poinfmg witb liis kttife to tho young porker, askcd - 'Wei!, Mi'. Hodsre will you have taÍ3 nu" favorito HA, it haunch of mutton," tlpon w!ii;li rcoolleo'ing his lcsson, lie replied, "Half tLat, if yon picase," to the o .Kisturnatioii of alt ])rcsoiit. B3T lliau latt''y receivud twenty , well laid on, at tlio uhipping-post iii an EnR'isjb torcn. The eulprit, instead of bellowhig when tho constable applied tlia lash, lauglied itiitnoderatcly, which tirulo tli" angrj ofüccr lay on with barder forcé. On givipg him tho twcnticth blow the enragod oíScor cuulJ stand it no loiiger. " Well, liero, mister," paid tliooíTonded offieer, " I hav,a done .ry dutj, and" I can liot yon no moie, but I'd just liko to know'whnt it is thnt a so fiinpy ? " ' Fuunj," roared tho other, " wliy, its excellent. You'vo got tbewrong Smitfi. I lin't t Ixo nin.ii that w;is to be whipped; it"s the oIIht onc. You'll have to do it over again. Ha ! ha ! Ilappíncs's is like a pig with a greasy tail, wTjieii every oue ruus after, but no ono can hola!


Old News
Michigan Argus