Cute Things

1. Put tho exuet " fore q the lining ef your bat, if you art ab'ut to travel in car or omnibus on a miserable ecld day, ■wben cvery change of poaitioa is disagreeable, thua obviatiug the neccsaity of tuking off your gloves, unbuüoniug your coat, searching your pocketa, making chango, and getting chi led ; if a lady, carry the uiuney under the edite of your glove. '1. If you are enough of a gentleman to feel obliged to give up your aeat in a car to anytliitig in the shape of a petticoat, whether to mistress or muid, whcther to a grandmuther or to swoet aeventuen, whother to a dowager or a marketwoman, tako yonr soat ag near tho forward part of the yehicle as posaible, theu your gallantry will be the laat to bt) tried and the least likely to be challeuged. 3. Ifyou want a pair of boots or shoes made to order, and winh to be certaiu of as easy a fit as that of au old shoe, put ou two pair of thick wooleu soek before your mensure is taken. 4. If. lifcí a wi.-e sailor, you wish to have " all taut" when the terrible and ïii vittble financial atorm comes sweeping over the naties, within i year after the war olosea, sell on the spot whatever is neco!-s:try to pay off every dollar of your present indebtednea-i, aud invest nll your surplus, be it great or small, in solid luud, iu fee, wi hout tho oncuinbrance of a singlo copper cent ; the uext day begin to retreueh in all articles of necessary faimly ex euditure, and iet overy luxury be bauishtíd froui your meinory bh completely as if it had uever existed. 5 Jfyou want to avoid being drawn iuto the comruon vortex of finaneial ruin by friends aud relativen, as dishonest in reahty a they are reckless, uever indorso for a dime without your wife's written consent, aud have placed in latters, golden and large, oar the mantla of the family room, aud require it to be da:ly rcad aloud by each member of the faiuily, iu turu, just befare you go to busiuess fter breatfast, the fifteenth verse uf the eleveuth chapter of Proverba. 6. If y;u want to know certainly whether the young lady you think of addressing ipa; fairy or a fury, tread on her skirt in the street, wheu she is not awlre of .your boiug witbia h mile of her and ÍÍ tako au observation" of that face uaually ''divine" at the instant of its being turned fuil upon you. If, out of sny thousund ladies promeuading the Street, you wish to niake a selection for a wife who shall combine taste, tidinesa, and a true economy, walk behind and notice if in shawl or dress, unntilla, clouk, or what uot, there ai;e crease, greasespots spocks of dried mud, or lint or string, or föather; ii'you do, let her go, for creases show that she huddlas her garments away, because too lazy to fold them up cai-efully; a grease spot show that ahe will flop hersu'f dowu unywhere, consulting persoual case in prefereuce to all other considerations ; and any woman who reckle.-isly'rung the risk of soiling a gannent irretrievably, rather than take the pains to turn her head half around to see if she is about sitting on a lump of butter ar in a pool of tob.'icoojuioo, ib utterly unworthy of a husband, and is as destituto of uny true moral principie as hIio is of iunate purity A dried spe.k of mud or pieoe of Uut shows she is a hypocrite or a slouch, a it proves that she i cartiful oníy of suoh parta of her apparel as sho thinks most likely to be seeu. 7. Ifyou wish the great hnppiness and the inestimable bk-saing of baing always h good health down to sereue old age, learii wtile young to taks care of that "good coustitutiou" with which a bi'üig;i Ureator has iutrusted you, 8. Ifyou have a tromondous ruoustache, and want to eat bread and molaeses, put the bread iu first aud the molass es añerward. 9. Ifyou want to "provo" tho beat friend you have, ask him to lend you soma money. 10. Ifyou want a burgkr to wako you up, put your wash-basin under the door look, aud draw the key half out ; thén the sligh test touch froin the outsido initiutes a racket anong the