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A Dinner With The King Of Cannibal

A Dinner With The King Of Cannibal image
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Aiuw, no rugurus tuose missionaries,' continued the king, reflectivelj, seratch ing hishead with tho fork which I had presonted him, ond which lio had al ready lcarnod to use a good deal, thougl not always in & strietly legitímate way "as regards thoso miseionaries, I will Bay that their landing hero was unexpectec but I hastened to givo thera every protector. Aud I gave tliein full privilego to teach. Tbey were tho first wlntes that some of niy pcople had seeD, andofcourse these imple natives had a natural curios-ity to exporiment upou them ! 1 conld uot reasouably dcuy them this little gratificalioo. tliough I counst-k'd them to practico as litlle cruclty upon the strangers as was coni patible with a fair dcsire fur iuformation and tho necessity of wholesome arausc ment. Thoy removud Johnson's ears, aad tbat was a thing which I rogrettd eoriously, uatil it was explained to me that a great chief's littlc sick chüd do sired them to play with- and it you cou'd have sei n how ínuch moro contentcd. and restíul the poor youDg thhig was after it acquircd them, you would have feit how blessed a thing it is to be ablo to contribute to tho happiuess of even a little child." "It was the impulse of a goneroue honrt- it was a spirit of libendity as rare as it is beautiful. Aüd how did Jonnson iike ït r" "Oh, Johnson soid t was the will of God. It was liko Johnson to soy that. But the missionaries were right well :reated on the whole. The nativos triod various interesting expenineuts upon them, such as scorching thezn, and BOalpiog them, and 11 that aori of thing, and I illed one of tbem jnyself, uot in malice, but becausc l had a curious caprice to see how he woald o wiih QDions. Ho wu & failuro. 'Old and ough. Underdone, tny wahne said - a shade too venerable ' said. Give me )ungeney an0 tenáernsss for a combiaation. Ouions oud iiifancy is my idea 3Í comfort. o;apeoplo Uoü'tknow how o cook. No, as I was saying, the vanakas experimenled a good deal on he miesionaries, in the interest of seience md the experimenta were generally atttl, though I urged them not 10 waste he missiouarief!, we could not know vhen we would havo another lot. But imong those that survived was Williams, nd it was he that sent home those dam ging reports to your country, in which e spoke of the trcatmeut of Lis brethen in a peevish, fault finding spirit, ill ecoming to bis ssored calliug. I 6upose your peoplc believed every word of :, and just jumped to tho conclusión liat wo were a bad, inhospitable race. lmu,j .- '■LiutiJi i'yiu wiij i ü.iieu iuai ther fellow ? - confound me, it does oem to mo that sorau people take pleasre in misrepresenting thiugs, andbriugug obloquy upon tbeir fellow creatures. uraetiuies 1 f'eel us if I had ratber be ead and at rest. The world 6eems so haraeless in lts judgments, and ona's ife is so embittered by the raalicipus riticisras of thoso whoBe hearts are not o sympathy with hiin." "It wat pitiful d tbat Williams, after 11 you bad done for bis party." "I sbould say 80 ! But never rnind, et's be cheerful, any way. How ara :ou making out ? Let me help you to fried plautain. Tako Bomo more of be pup ? No ? Try some of the huraun beiug ? By George, this fellow is one to a charm. You'll like hiin. Ho was a Frenchinan - splendid ohap - 'oung, and bale and hearty, beautifu! 0 look upon. Do you pnjfer white neatordaik? Let me help you to ouie of tbo breast. Ah me, I have suown tbis youugster for tbirteen years - lij-lied witb biui, sw;iiu witb liini, saild with h;ua, gave a ooupio of my eisers and four aunts to bim. I loved dm, He was al way s good. He is good 10W. ' Taking up a fragment of bis late )roihcr-in-law, the king took a bito and hen gazed long and penoively upon tbo emuinder, till by and by the muscles of ïis inouth began to twitch witb eraotion, ind presently two or tbree great tcars welkd from h's eyes and coursed down lis clieeks. Tlien, in a choling voioe, o murmured : "Alas, tbey have fried bim !" I laid down the brenstbone of deceasd and burst into tears also. Such is he sympatbetic power of grief. It was ïothing wbetber thoy fried or boiled ïim ; it was nothing to me how tbia poor 'oreïgner was cooked ; I was only eating ïim out of vain curiosity, and not because I lnved liim, notbecause I respected bhn, not beoause I wisbed to curry favor with bis relativen. Yet I wept. "ïhey have fried bim !" caid the Ivincj. ':Alas, poor Gaultier. Horever, let u cbeer up, let us be couteut. But 1 will have wy cook for brcakfast for this - and I will fry kim, and see how he likes it. Thore is nothir.g liko a shaip example, to teacb a man, my fiiend. But don't be idle, sir - tsiko somo more of the fried Frenchinan. I ouglit to be ashamed to ofi'er you suoh a dish, but you see how 1 am situated. líe ought to have been buked - this fellow ought We iilvviiys bake a Frenchinan - we nover think of fiying bim. But I wisb you bad kuown this fellow - so kind, so geutle, so loving, and you seo youiself how tender be is. But ihat Williams business - I wish you would slraiehteo tfa'at up for me wheu you go Baolí to America. Ifyour people could oüly know tbe faots in the case, they would not blamo. me. It is a litlle hard, nftur I havo spent all these years in bui!dinj up a good Dame, to have it uil knocked in the head by this sbabby adventürer. Ñow, vh:;t be called a 'liideous revel, and a 'feást of devils,' aud all sorts ot vile and wicked nniucs, wus notbing in the world, I give you my sacred bouor but n simple barbecue- seventeen olc orippled nativos, no account uudor the sun.jutt an expense to lbo' commnnity aud I friunseed them to give a little to 8Oine visiting town chiefs (Aldcrinen you cali them in your country), wbo A-ere bere for a day or two from Wonga Islaud. 'Feast of deviía,' indeed I Feast of dried up, skinny oíd iapscülions tbat tho Island ía a thousand timos better of without, and I am gure it was honorable in us to be boipitable to thoBe straugers. Though betffecn you aud me it was au awful swindle on thcm- tough, oh, don' inention t ! - more cholera morbus and indigestión, and general suffering among those chiefs, you never saw the like of it in your life I Now, Twain, jou wee how much truth tliere was in William's statetr.euts ? all that row about nothing. You can set tbis thing riglit in jour country- you can do it easy- simply just explain tlie fants- and anytliing I can do for you, I'll do it - you can dopend on me. Send me a copy of your weekly. I can't read it, but a linio literature can't hurt a man, anvhow Ciesar's ghost ! " "Oh, heaven ! what is the matter, your gracioua majesty ? " "Oh, misery! Oh, murder ! Oh, desperation !" "Ob, what is it, your imperial majesty ! - I beseecb you r' He had sprung to hi feet, and his fixed eyes wero staring wildly at the friod met bitore him. "Oh, my brnin reek ! This liair a Frenchman's hair ? There must be sowe mistake! A horrid suepicion bursts upon me ! Ah, what ia this 1 see ï- this thiug- thls accusing mark! A strawlerry on Ihe left arm - -it is, it is, my long lost brother !' Alas, it was even sö. It was his Olifl1 lflHt, ïirntliov Miknf mA l,.f. _f i: long lost tirolher - what was leftofhira. Poor, poor foüow, Le jvas Onïy fit to be 30 shoveled into a baskoï and given to ;hc poor, now. Tbo kn feil o the floor insensible. He grew ' worso and worse, aud the next day hia removal to the country waj rdcrecJ. Many sjraatbizing relatives and friends followed he paluntiuin nnd did what they could o allcviate the sufferings of their UDlappy sovoreign. It turned out afterward Ihat the Bweetheart of tho Frenohman had made a surrepiitious eschange of marketing n the Kin's kitchen before daylight on hat fatal day She had bought the Ling?3 Lrothpr from a wandering tribo hat belooged in the great wilderness at he ether end oí tho island. She bought lim purposely to made ihat exchaoge, bough of course she did nok know who he waB. The girl aod the Fienehman esoaped from the isla ad in a canoe that very night, and were happily married, or drowned, I don't know which. I would have likcd to tasto that Frenchman.


Old News
Michigan Argus