A Question Settled

Oíd Joe Jí was a qtnet oíd man, but somewhat too fond of the bottle. Wheu in his cups his ideas tended towaid theologioal mattere, which he always avoided iu liis sober momentu. It wis Saturday afternonn (Connecticut baking day), and his good wife wanted Borne wood for the oven. "Joe, 1 do wieh you would go nnd split Borne wood. Here it is nearly two o'clock, and the fire isu't made." Joe went to execute his coramission, but feariog hia physiciil condition was weak, marched to the neighboriug tavern to fortify himsi-lf tberein. He returned home utterly obliviouB to all thins, save his pet theories. Seating himBalf on hia chair, he said: "I 8y (hic), Jane, do ycu (hic) tbink tho Lord (Mo) means to buru us (hio) up in fire 'r" His venerable spouao, being excecdingly irute, did not aníiwer. Again ho reeatcd iheqi)estion Still an ominous silonce. "AVife, do yon tbink the Lord meana to burn us up in fire eerlaeting i" l'No!" süid the now thoronlily aroused bousewifo; "no, you oíd íool, not if he waita for you to split the wood !" A young lady it a faihïooablo dinnerparty pestered Dr. JohnMM) with a ooDubdniin, a thing which tbfi bluff oíd fellow utttrly dötcstcd. " VVhy is the letter J like the eud of spring, doctor ?" O( courso, the doctor oould not teil. " Because it ia the beginniag of Jnue," was the eolution. " Now, mis-, will you teil me why the letter K is like u pigg tail?" The young lady had 10 give it up "Becau-e it's the end of pork, miss." The doct(;r enjoyed liis dinner without further interruption froin that voung lady.