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How I Secured A Berth

How I Secured A Berth image
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T was about leaving on the iiino o'clock rain for Washington,, wbon a man who as in seurch of nio approriched. I know ii' w:is in searcli of mo. He was in search 'sumo respectablo, bonevolent individü to put a woirtall undef Iris ÖdfBi And h diil. Hhc happened fcoberather goodooking, and I didn't object in a violent ;iy, liut I was neithcr very graceful nor racious over the compliment. Wfaen I une to secure a section iit tliö elccping ir, I found that a dcïlegation of piout jeople was going to Washington on some ïantaulc business, and lind taken Qearly 1 the berths. I secured two - at lea it I ïotlghtlhad - and m&rched my female it li lir two cárpet sacks, strap satchol, mooking bird, a.nd a silk umbrella, with Wftter-pioof aad two shawls done np in :rttps, luto 161. AVhenwe arrived inside, loarned for tho first time that my unnotected female could not abide in tho ci'ping car. 8he sniil blie feit liko euficating, ind I wished secretly sho would ifl'ocate ; but when we camo to occupy iir btrtlía I made ttro disagreeablo disoveries. The first was that the two ickets oalled for the same berth ; tho :her, that this bertli was the upper one. ty female friend said positively that slie ould not get into that berth. Í informed ïer that it was her only Chanee to sleep, nd she told me that she would rathel sit p. I thcn gave her the furtherinformaon that that W8B ill vcry well, but in a oepiug car there was io place to sit exept on a wii.-jh-bitsiii, and that I thought ■ould be rather inconvenient. At last, ith the aid of a step-ladder, the steward nd two pious old Pomps, my unprotecd female was boostcdinto her roost, and ie curtains olosol har foi the night. Tlicn came the que.stion asto what had lecome of the undersigned. I consultid ie conductor and the stewax-d, and had ie eatUfaotion of hearing the fact stated :iat if I had told them eal'lier the er ïnight havo been reinedied. But is na-, the pions delegation had retired 'or the night, and the bcrths Wore occuied. The conductor, howovor, told me :iat ho would try and makit som: iirmgement, and then went ott' about his rusmeas. A druuken man had boon capturad on lio platform as we started, where he Was ound addressing the stars in a vooit'crous vay, the sleeping-oar ticket iishod out of is pocket, and the inebriated fullow huoked into an ppev berth. I was leanng against the wash-stand of the car in very inolancholy way sonio timo after, vlmu this intoxicated follow stuok his ïead out, and, addressing me, said : " I would likc to have a drink." " Water 'Í " said I. " No, curse it, dam water ! I want nomo vhisky ; I ara dry as a chip." " Well," I responded, " I am sorry to ;iy (lint I h;ivi' none about me." " Ain't you the conductor 'f " " No," I responded, " I don't bclicvo I m." " Nor do I. If you were the conductor on would have something to drink. Wliere is tbc conductor?" I told hiin that he was in the other car. " Well," he said, " I have a groat mind o get up and hustle around till I get a Irink," "MyChiiStian fi-iend," I said, " s nothing in the Constitution nor in the iixteen amenamente that prohíbate you rom gotting up and huntiiig a drink if fou want it." Whereupon the inebriated individual rolled out of the berth. He rollcd into several others and was promptly ejected, and at last, getting his legs, disappeared tt tbc further end of the car. I took in the situation at a glanco. EEere was a berth. vacated. Above it was a white kat. I immediately removed that white hat. I carried it furtheriilong uid put it over a Christian Association, who was lost in the sleep of innocenco and peaee, and then returning I ensconeed myself in the berth vacated by the man who had a constitutional riffht to a drink. I ws dropping into a slunibor, for I always slecp ou a car devotod to that business and inventad by Mr. Pullman; the motion has tho samo effect apon my brain that rocking has upon a child, and I not :nly sleep easily but profoundly. ín a few socoiids I should have been beyond all disturbanceB, but. it happened that I was awakened out of my ñrst wink by i row in an adjoining scction. Thore fm emedtobe a pitohed battle going on be tween ono of tho delcgates anl (V ge&tleman who claimed tlie berth to be the one he had just vacated. I heard him saj " Now get out of that ;" and ho oalled the good man an offspring oí' a female dog, adding theroto some vcry profonnd langüage. The conductor oame to tho rescue of fhe weaiy delégate, and vvlin the man ealled attention to the fact of the white hal, lie puzzled him sorely by showing him two or three white hats fiirther alone in tho same car. At tliis the Lnebriated passenger desisted, but as soon ns the oonductor's back was turned renewcd the liglit with the nest white hat, insistiog just as positively that that was his berth, and with the same profound and violent languago and soufflé. He was repulsed only to begin again, and he kept fighting these good Christian gentlemen wbo waro so un fort uñate as to have white !:;i!s, until I feil aeloep and dreamed till morning of my earíier youth - of the church not round the corner but in the glen, whero the forest trees brushed against tho Windows, and the ermlight uame down as if in response t the prayers of tho boautiful maidens, digniíied matrons, and Bnowy-headed f.ithers of tlie land. I only awoke when entering the siiifuleity of


Old News
Michigan Argus