Kill Or Cure

" The Major is a capital fellow, Doctor," I said, us we sauntered out to smokt) our eigars in the garden, after an eurly dinner; "butho ought to be more merciful to us wretched bachelors. Whnt with bis charming wife and that exemplary baby, he makos it difficult to respect the teuth commaudmont." " You admire Mrs. Layton 'i" " Admire her ! if she were not Charlie's wifc, I should fall over heud and ears in love with her. I have seen fairer faces, but for her dear, pretty, delicate womanly ways, I have never met her equal." " You couldn't utiderstand a inaii's thirst i'or her blood." " Good Grracious ! A wretch who could touch one of her golden hairg roughly deserves to be erucified." "And yet for many days she was in deadly peril of her Life." " For her fortune 'f " She had none." "Don'ttell me, Doctor, that an innocent creature like that could give any one.cauee for rrivonge." " Xo ; I won't teil you anything of the sort." "I thiuk I soe. Some one was madly in love with her Y " If ycu were to gness till tliis lay out you woud not find the cause," suid iny friend. " L';t us sitdown hore, andl will expiain. It'u nu secret ; I wonder the Major has not told you." ■ Down here" was ou a rustic seat that the Majors pretty wife had made at thé end of bis garde, close to where a littlo riil, soon to be lost in the blue Iludson, tiukleá its way throufth his gromids. " Dming the war," began the Ductor, " I served in the army, in the same regiment with au old Bchoolmate. ]Io was as tiue a soldier as ever drew a sword. Hale, liearty, and sound in mind and body ; eagcr to see service- and ho snw plenty. 1 tliought he bore a charmed ïife, till one day ho was carried into the hospital tent in a bad way. A ball had emeied his shouldèr, giauced on the clavicle (what you cali the bono), and hadgone - somewhore. That was all we could teil, for thero was uo other orilice ; but whether it had passed up or down, or taken some erratic oourse round about, such as balls will t.ike, we knew not, no probing could iind out. Well, he reoovered and went North to rcgain his strengt li, and for nearly three years 1 last sight of him. When tlie war was over, and I had returued to practice as a oivilian in New York, I met him again. Hut how changed 1 He was a living skeleton, and 1 s;iw in a moiu-jnt that he had beoome habituated to opiiiiu. Do you kuow what that nieans-' No? Well, throw a bucket of water into a piano, and then light a fire under its strings, it will not be moro out of tune than an opiumeater's nerves are out of order. He asked if he might cali on me at my office, mu oí cour.se I asscnted ; uut it was iays bcí'ore lio carne, and when lie did trriva I knew that he had been preparing í'or a fight with himself. Some íoolLsh patients come prepared to hide the truth, Borne to vnagnity their ilis. It is part of our business, in serious cases, to examine a man's inind bet'ore we ask about bis body, and hardened as a surgeon 111 ust be, I confesa that the condition of my poor í'riend frightoned me. There was an expression in his eye that I had never seen in any sane being ; and what mude this worso was the oalin, business like marmer in which he spoke. He told me that soon after he had (apparently) recovered from his wound, he began to suffer from pains in his head, which increased in severity till they became so tigonizing that he liad recourge to opiates to relieve them. " But I have not come to consult youabout this," hesaid, "this I can bear - must bear. Would to God that they were always tearing me! The worst is when they aro not." " They leave you very weak f' I suggested. " They leavo me," te replied, quito calmly, " with a burning, all but uiiconquerable desire to take human life." " I ara not generally a nervous man, but I started, and looked round me for sorne weapon ot' defensc. " Don't be afraid, he continued, with a sad smilo " the üfc is not on me now. I should no have come if it had been. 1 have beei íiearly 6tarved once or twice, not darin, to leave my room. I can conquer nr madness now ; the question is, how lonj can I continue to do so. I feel the powe of resistance becoming weaker and weak er - the craving for blood getting strong er and stronger. I am like a man wh has slipped over a procipice, and feels th earth and shruta to which he clings slowly, slowly, suroly, surely, giving way with him. I have brought wretehed cui out of the street, and killed them in m frenzy, in the hope to exhaust it on them It is of no use, for I must have huma Ufe." " Any human ljfe V" said I, " or som one in particular. " Why do you ask this, Doctor ?" h cricd, getting suddcnly excited. " No matter ; go on." " Sometimes," he resumed, " it eeom that any life would do ; and sometimes - Doctor, four days before I saw you, met, upon a New Jersey ferry boat, a young girl. Ho pretty, so refined, and nicn I l'ollowed he to her home - the devil, that bas taken possession ot' me, led me. She went in, and soou camo out again into hor little garden, and tended her tiovvers - poor child ! Doctor, if I had had a pisto! along with me I should have shot her. Yon muy smile ; but some day soon I shall take a pistol on purpose, and go and shoot her." " It was clearly no use arguing with hiin. The best way with such people is to admit iheir facts and try to wolk aroirnd them." "Then," Mtid I, " tho only thinj you can do is to a'ibtrtit to the restriötion of nu asyluin, till this f'eeliug has passed." " It will not pass. Il I were to go to a mad house I should shaui sane. Soouer or later thiur vigilance over me would be relaxed. Then I should murder my keeper, and go straight i'ur that innocent girl." " Then leavo the country." " Well. that would save lier ; but, Doctor, one lile is as dear to its holder as another. It' I don't kill her, I shall kill some one else." " My dear fellow," I replied, in as light a tone as 1 could assutne, " these faneies can be curable. Put yourseli' underskilled medioal treatment. You are all to bits, physically. Get sound in body, and you'il get all right in your mind." " On the contrary, I am all to bits, as you pay, iiieuttilly, and my body suffers through my mind. Medical treatment ! I havo consultad every practitioner of note hero and in Europa, Sonie think l'm i'ooling them, some look wise, and talk as you do about 'treatment.' All have t'ailed. Doctors are ot' no use to me." " Then may I ask why you have come here f" "To ask your advico asa friend," he answered, drawing lus chttir nearer to me; "mnd to ask you onu question asa friend and a God fearing man, and to whirh I pray you to give me a good plain yes or no." " Go on." " Peeling as I feel, shall I be jastifiod before God in taking my own liïuY Will it be a deadly sin for me to do for iiiyself what I would do for ;i mad dog ?" I repeat his words alinost as he spoke tbem. I cannot give you the faintest idra of the solemn doliberation with which he pat this awful question. For sorae inomonts I eould not say a word. Then I started up and told him tliat 1 would not answcr him yes or no - that it was not í':iir to ask me to take Biich a responsibility. TliL'ii he ío.-e, too, and said that he must resolve it for himself, and I saw plainly which way it would go. "Give me till to-inorrow to think it out," I said, detaining him. " To-iuoitow rnay be too late," he replied. "The fit m-ty come upon me tonitfht for all I know. " Como horr.e with me ; I'm not afraid. You won't hurt me," I said. " I would try very hard not to do so - iut -I know myself. I cannot trust myelf Don'; you trust me.'" " I will trust you ; but I'll do more. fon are not armad, I suppose.' "No,"' hu replied with a ehuduer, "not ow." " I'll tnke care that yon icall not be, nd I'll caí ry my Dorringer in ín y pookt. On tho first indication of homicidal mnia I give you my word I'll shoot - nd I'll shoot straight." I said this to kti?fy him, poor fellow ! In his weak ,ate I oould havo laid hiui down like a lild. It did satisfy him, and we went ionio toguther. I led him to talk of our Id soldieiins; dayp, and gradii'illy got ritu back to his wound, I made him de3ribe the first sensations of pain in liis íead, and repeat all that his different medical advisurs had said. I happened ,o havo a strong preparación of hashecsh _y me. I gave him a dose, and wliilst nder its influence I carefuUy examined lis head. Now thii hiad, }'ou must cnow, dons not fatten or waste away in iroportion to other parts of the body. till his had become mere skm and bone; ud in this state, porhaps, gave me an adantuge over others who had made the amo examination. At last I felt, or íotight I felt, a fiiint twitching - a sort f abnormal pulsation - about two inches bove the left ear. It might be merely ervous, but it inight be caused by the all. " I then set my mind to work, and ïought the wliole case oversteadily. in 10 first place wiis that impulso to talce turnan life, of which uiy poor friend had :)oken, rxiülij uncontrollahlo. For oxmple, snppose that one day he did take pistol ' on purjiose' and go to that, young ad y's garden - 'would he shoot her? To upposo that the insano iuind never hangea its purpose, or turna from thu 'uil eompletion of its purpose, ia to say in ther word that the iusane mind is tronger than the sane mind. If a man vitli :i freshly broken leg were totell you o was going to run a foot raoe, you wonld not believe him, becausc your coranon senso revolts against tho idea of his unniug with a leg disabled. But if one vith h,is brain disabled declares that he s going to do something dependeut upon Ke aotion of his ruind, coiamon sense loes not argüe so well. " In the second place, did ïny poor 'riend, with his impaired ineans of judgnent, heliere that the impulse was uncontrollable? Because if he did the end would be the same, so far as he was cerned, lie would sacrifica his own lito to proteot tliat of otheia, though they were in no actual danger. "In the third place, might not this story of the impulse be a mere protense ;o excuse tho commission of suicide ? !íow tbero are no forms of madness more . obscure in their origin, more difficult to dötect, more persistent, and more fatal ;han suioidal inania ; and as there have 3oen numerous cases in which persous who have destroyed themselves have care:'ully prepared evidence tending to show that their death was accidental, why should tliere not be one in which tho fatal act was to bo (so f ar as possible) justified ? " In the fourth place, granting that there was either real homicidal inania or fancied homicidal mania tending to suicidal, or eimply the latter - was there a possibility of euro. " As the three ñrst questions rosted fot their solution on one set of facts, and the deductions to be drawn therefrom, I consider thein together. A victiin of suicidal mania rarely if ever speaks of suicido. Whcu a man saya he is going to drown himself, you may generally direct him to the cars which will tako him to the river side with the fullost convietion that he will not breakiast with crabs. If, in an exceptional case, suicide is mentioned, i1 will oithor be treated lightly, as an ac that is not u crime, or the patiënt will b very earnest in his assurances that h would nevor commit it. Kemembering my poor friend's manner, I noticed tha lie spoke of taking his own life with much more emotion than he evirieed wken lie told mo ot' the impulse to shed the blood ot' others. His words, ' I must have human life - if I had had a pisto with me I should have Bhot bere - som day soon I shall take a pistol on purpos and shoot hor - I shouid murder my keep er and go straight i'or that innocent girl Wero 6poken as calmly as though he saic ' I owe ñvo dollars- I must go and pa theiu,' and at the same timo with a tone of deep comniisemtion foi the predestined vict.ims. They were to die for no fault of tdeir own, but they were doomed to death - if lio lived. When, on the other hand, he spoke of saving their lives at the sacrifica of his own, his manner ohanged. No one alllicted with suioidal manía over treated self-destruction with the horror, the consciousnesa of itswickednoss, and the roligions doubts as to its beinjj pardonable under any cireumBtances, with which he considered it He had never spoken of murder as s. crime. "Aftera loug and careful consideration I oame to the following eonelusioiis : " He is not laboring under eüicidal inania. His impulse is real, and will have fatal results. " Couiinemont in any asyluni would havo no curative effect. " Then I took down my books bearing upon th9 anatomy of the human head. # '■Thenext morning I addresscd him thus : " Before I answer you as to whether yon would be justiüed before God, undor the impulse yoti havo told me of, in taking your own life to save that of another, you must answer me soveral questious." " Go on," he said. "When you consultad those doctors did you teil them all that you havo told me?" ' No. I did not dure. I said that I had horrible thoughts and cravings, but without entering irito details as to what they were. Once I wont so i'ar hs to say I feared I was becoming dangorous, and the fooi smiled." " Goud. Did they ever speak of searching i'or tkat ball '! " " Yes, they said it might be the cause of uiy sufieriugs, supposiug it had lodged near the brain, but that no one would tuke the responsibility of searching for it - so to speak - in the dark." " They were right - the operation might kill you, and Ihc ball be not found after all." " Ho lookcd up, and tho dull, dejected look that, had become habitual passed trom Uis face. " And evon if it wera found," I went on, ' its extraction might cause your death all thu sanie." " He laid bis hand on my arm, aud tried to speak, but he could not. ' ' Still it would give you a chanco - juñt a chance of more than life.' His rasp tightened. I conld feel his heart eating. 'And submitting to such an peration - álmost hopeless tbough it be - would not be quito suicide. " He feil on his knees and sobbed like child. 'You'll do it r" he cried, 'God Almighty bless you 1 You'll do it?' ' " Wel," said my t'riend, lighting a í'resh igar, J' to raake my story short, I did it, vith the assistanco of a young surgeon whose nerve I could trust. Ve found jat miserable piece of lead near where I íad suspeettd it to be. It was just a aso of touch and go. Had my knit'e vavered twico the breadth of its own dge - had the assistant been unsteady with tho fórceps - it would have been 'atal. I don't want to appear vuiii of my uccoss, so I'll say no more than this - he ecovered." " And hasn't killed anybody ? " " No, and doesn't want to." "By Jovo! I vouldu't be too sure of iat. And so the girl he wanted to murer married the Major? " "She did." " Then if I were lier huaband I'd talco HPC.ious rood cafe that your interesting latient didn't como into the same Statu 'ith her." " My dear fellow if you were her husland j'ou'd do exactly as her husband om " " Doos he know ? " " None botter." " And doesn't care ? " " Nut a bit." ' " Then he's a brute ! " "You"d better toll hiui eo - nero he omrs." " Doosn't sho know ? " " She does." " And she's not afraid ? " " No." " One other qupstion. Does your in;ore3ting patiënt still live ia this counry ? " "He does." "In what State?" " This State." " Ncar here P" " Very near." "Then, with all pcssible deference for ur fiiend the Major, I think he is very 'oolisb. Were I in his place I should say, My good sir, I admit that the ball from vhich you have suffered so long cannot get back into your brains, but I am by no mcaus sure that the ideas it engen.ered may not return. At any rate your jresenoe noar my wifo is likely to make ïer nervouR, and I appeal to you as a rontloman to lócate yourself in soino other part of the country. If you do so I shall have the highest respect for you; it' you do not, and over havo the misfortune to pass within a mile of my house, the interior of your skull will bccome moro intimately acquáinted than ever with lead in the usual form." " Very neatly put," said the Doctor, " but our fricnii does not think of committing suicido now." " Mercy, Doctor ! " I cried, " you don't mean to say that the man who wanted to ïnurder Ihe Major's wife is - is" - " The Major hiinself. Yes, sir." "How's Trícks."- There is a lawyer n this city who, for the accoramodation ot' his clionts, has a speaking tube lead mg l'rom the niain entranco üf his buildng to his office, which is up just a few lights. For several days past a smart young wag nftmod Swartz Las amusod limself by calling for the lawyov through ího pipe, and thou profanel}1' ordering turn to set out on an excursión to Tartarus. For soino time this fun was taken in good part by the legal expounder of the nfcw Code until the filie humor of the joke no longer becaice apparent. Accordiligly, one afteruoon, the disciple of Blackstone provided himself with a tea-kettle of wator, heated to about 210 Fahrenhcit, and waited alongsido the pipe. Pretty soon the oíd, familiar sound cumo up through the pipe, " Say, Cap, how's Tricks? " " Tricks is better now - Í guess he'll get well," replied the lawyer, reaching out after the toa kettlo. " Whftt'a been the matter witli him ? " " He got burnt." " líow ? '' " I'll teil you in a minute." " Oh, you go to " The lawyer had finished his last sentence and then let a quart of scalding water down the pipe. Swartz had his mouth over it, and when the water struck it he was somewhat surprised. Water was apt to surprise him, but hot water was an unexpected novelty. Tho man above poured in the water for ubout a minute and thon looked out of the window. The smart young man was gotting along tho sidewalk at a pretty livply gait, having evidently just got up from a sitting posture. Ho was tryini; to yell " Pólice," but couldn't articúlate with niuch buccobs. About half an hour afterwérd he found himself able to speak, and inquired, " Did that boiler