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The Local Editor

The Local Editor image
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The following ie borrowed, and it is ;he best we ever liad a local editor lend us : " If a man buys a new buggy, or ií' his ;ow csn bawl three times without winkng, the local is expected to proclaiin it witli a grand flourish. If lie starts a twolenny buduess, his first thought is to aribe the local with a tive cent cigar to write up a fivc-dollar puff. Indeed, he ihinks it is a uiission ot' the local tu niake ais fortune for him by 'free blowing.' Ho will take the local to one side and point out the superior qunliTies oi a ratterrier dog, and coolly ask him to ' give liiin a hoist.' He don't care anything ibout it, only Spriggins has a dog vvhich he thinks is a buster, and some of em wanted his put in just to take the ïonceit out of Spriggins.' Everybody wants to be ' put in,' tfiey are the ' Great I Am,' but no one says, ' Here, local put yonrself inside of this new suit of' clothes, ur throw yourselt' outside this oyster stew, or stuff tliis watch into your pocket.' Ob no, of course not ; tüat woiild oost something. Theshoe is on the other foot, you jee. The local is suppcsed to know everything about other people's business, and is expecU.d to show up all the actors in every family broil in towu. If the vile tongue of scandal finds a victim, people wonder why he don't run about with his note bonk and gather up the vituperative bits of slander i'or his paper. If he steps into a billiard hall he is requested to muke a note of the astonishing fact that Bill Toinkins has inado a run of eleven points. When the minstrel troupe arrivés in town, the agent innnediately ruslies into the jarinting office, and, calling for the local, he slips three or four tickets in his hand, and whispers : " Draw us a big house ! Put it in strong '." and patting hini patronizingly on the shoulder, tho agent adraits the inforiority of the troupe, but we are not to "let on.' It is no sin for tho local to lie. To picase the lecturer the local is forced to sit two inoital hours to hear him tlirough an insipid discourso so hs can ' write him up.' And so it goos. All are anxious to appcar favorably in print, but few are willing to pay for it I The local's time is worth nothiugj but to bother his hoad vriting puffs for ambitious persons. It lon't oost him anything to live. He never eats, or drinks, or travels, and noney is of no use to him. fut it in !


Old News
Michigan Argus