Acoording to Donn Piatt, Moses, of the elegant toilet, did this : Jones carne in on us full of wrath the other day. The verdant Field, in gayest verdure olad, was the cause of Jones' indignation. It seems that the flowery Field engaged our Jones, when he, F., first came to Cougress, to write him two speeches - oue on finance and the other on protection. " Now, will you believe it," cried Jones, " when the fellow comes to make his speech he puts in the one on protection when finamce is under discussion, and now h'U bö putting out finance when the tariff is up. Isn't it discouragingi'" A business firm in this city, to which a bilí had been owing for souie time, finally sent a sharp, dunning Hote to thedebtor, and received in reply a postal card contaiuing the following : " Matthew 18:26." To this they responded : " Eomans 13:8; Luke 12:58." The result was the prompt return of a check in payment of the amount. - Newark Advertúer. An inebriated individual precipitated himself down the depot stairs, and on striking the landing reproachfully apostrophised himself with : " If you'd been wanting to come down stairs, why didn't you say so, you wooden-headed old fooi, an' I'd a come with you and showed you the way." A Boston paper wonders why a member of Congress who recently spoke with so much feeling of the " hay seed in his hair," and " oats in his throat," forgot to complete the diagnosis of the case by alluding to the rye in his stomach. A paper in Nebraska under the head of " An hour with our business men," describes two saloons, and ends the item with tho remark, " This completes the round of business houses on the public square." The Mississippi Eiver is several inches above the high water mark of 1871 at New Orleans, and the creuasses are beyond control. Great damage is being done with no prospect of relief till the riyer falls.