A Day In Petticoats

" 1 couldu't tbink of sucli a thing." "Butyou must. My happiness j pends on it. Here, put on the thingumbobs, tbe what's his name." And my friend Bob Styles held up before my hesitant gaze a snit of fenaale apparel. His idea was that I should persónate bis lady-love for one day to prevent anybody frona suspecting tbe truth - hamely, that she had joined him in a runawuy marriaga party - nntil it sbould be too' I late for interference ; that is, until the j minister should have tied a knot botween them. tliat.nothing but a special gratit ! of the Legislature could untie. This scheme was liot actually so absurd as it appeared at first sight. Maggie Leo was a tall, queenly woman, with j an almost mascnline air, and at that time I had a very slight form - almost ! effeminate, so that in fact ; there was ' really bnt little difference in that point. Then I had light hair, tolerably long, i and a fresh complexión. Part my hair : in the middle, put a bonnet on my j head, and few persons would have ! pected but I was really one of the softer j sex. These accessories also gave me j quite a decided resemblance to Maggie Lee, especially when, as in this oase, I the disguise was her own. Then the day chosen for the rttnaway ! match was an auspicious one. Maggie's father was to drive her to D , a sniall village near where she lived, and ' there she was to join a sailing party j down D river, to the grove three miles below, from which the paLty was to return in the evening in the carriage. Our plan was that I should be in waiting in the village, and should go on the boat with the sailing party, while Maggis, after leaving her father, should slip off with Bob ncross the country. At last I got dressed, and presented myself before Maggie Lee, blushing a great deal, I believe, feeling very much pinched about the waist, and with an nncomfortable consciousness that my shirt sleeves were too ehort, or wanting altogether. Everything finished in the way of toilet, Bob Styles took me into his light wagon, drove me over to D by a secluded route and left me at the hotel, where the sailing party was to assemble. Several of the picknickers were already there, and they greeted my cavalier cordially (everybody knew Bob Styles), asking if he was going with them, etc. He told them he was not. "Pressing business engagement, you know, and añ that sort of thing. Duced sorry I ean't go though. I just had time to briDg Miss Lee over, and now L'm off. Mr. Bimby, this is Miss Lee, Miss Withergall, Miss Lee, " and he rattled off a string of brief introductions, which convinced me that few of the company were acqaainted with the young lady whom I was personating - a very fortúnate thing for the preservation oi my disguise. Mr. Bimby, a tall, legal-looking man, with a hook nose, and eye-glass and finny i ïair, seemed to be prepossessed with my sersonelle, and I overheard him whisper o Bob Styles. as he went out : "Nice looking girl, that Miss Lee." "Yes," answered Bob, with a mischievous glance at me, " she is a nice girl, though a little go ahead sometimes. Keep a little lookout on her, will you ?" - then lowering his voioe - "nota bad match for you, old fellow ; she is rich." "Is she?" said Mr. Bimby, his interest deepenig. " On my honor," replied Bob. "Forty thousand dollars in her own nght. Good day !" and he was gone. Maggie Lee, artful creature that she was, had told her father that the sailing party was to assemble at another hotel, and thither he had taken her. Having business in D , he left her there, merely saying that he would send a carriaee for her at 11 o'clock. She, like a dutiful daughter, kissed hirn good-bye, and bef ore he had gone a hundred rods, took a seat in Bob Styles' light wagon, which had driven up to the back door as old Lee 's cairiage drove away f rom the front, and the old story of headstrong love and prejudiced age was enacted over again. As for us, of the picnic excursión, we had a delightful sail to the grove, but sonichow I could not enjoy it 'as much as I ought to have done. When I'walked i on board of the boat, I feit awkward, as if everybody was iooking at me. I found Mr. Bimbyj as I had suspected, a young and rising lawyer, raighty in Blackstone and his own opinión. He insisted on paying for ïny ticket (the boat was a regular excursión packet) and purohasing enougli oranges, pears and candies to'set up a street stand. Four or five times I was on the point of swearing at his impudent officiousness, but bit my tonguê just in time to prevent the exposure. But it was not with him that I ïonnd my role the hardest to play. o fh-3 joung ladies were the difficult ones to deceive. For instance, here waa one among them, a beautiful girl of seventeen, just returned trom boarding school, who had not seen Maggio Lee for three years. Of course she was delightod to see me, when she found out tbat I was Maggie, whicb, by the way, did not occur until af ter we had rtnrtod. She threw herself into my arms, pulled my veil aside, and kissed me half a dozen times in a mauner that made my tmgers tingle for an hotir. It I was very nice, but if I had been in j propria persona I would have Uked it j better. As it -.vas, I feit as if I were obtaining goods ander false pretenses, and that Lawyer Bimby might issue a warrant for my arrest on that ground at üij ÍBCU13Í1 A whole knot of crinoliae then surroimded me on the upper deck of the boat, to the utter exclusión and consequent disgust of Mr. Bimby and the other gentleman. I kept very quiet, Liily speaking monosyllables in a f algetto voice ; but the others - Lord bless you ! how they gabbled ! Under a strict piomise of secrecy the liitle boarding school maiden, who had kissed me so affectionately, revealed all her love affaire, and aleo became unpleasantly conñdential about other matters, innocent enough in themselves, but not custoinarily talked of between ladies and gentlemen. I was terribly embarrassed, but ït ! would not do to give up then. As soon is my trick should become known, Bob Styles' trick would also come out, and, I vj uews of that kirid travels fast in the country, he and his lady love would be raphed and followed bef ore they c-rild reach Philadelphia, where the knot ww V) ba tied. The rirer breelze was Very fresn where we sat, aild I noticed that several of the ladies were glancing üneasily at me. I couldn't divine the reasonj until Jennie, my little frind from boarding school, laid her face dangeronsly .close to mine an-1 -whispered: "My dear Maggie, I your dress is blowing dreadful high - your ankles will be town talk with the gentlemen !" No-v I was conscious of having a very srnall foot for a man, and had donned a pair of open worked stockings, which came nearly up to my waist; with a pair of gaiters borrowed from the servant girl, in all of which toggery my running gear looked quite feminine and respectable; but the idea of the gentlemen talking about my ankles, and of beiag eautioned thus by a young girl, who would have been frightened to death if I had told her the same thing yesterday, was too much for me. J burst into a sort of strangula'ted laugh, which I could only check by swallowing half of my little filigreo kce-edged handkerchief. The young ladies all looked at me, in apparent astonishment at such a voice, and I wanted to laugh all the more. Fortunately Mr. Bimby came to my rescue at the moment and edged himself in among the crinoline. " May I sit here?" heasked, pointing to a low stool near me. " Certainly," I simpered, iü my high fftlsetto. " Ah, thank you," said Bimby, with a lackadaisical air which nauseated me, as coming from one man to another; " you are as kind as you are fascinating !" "You flatter me!" "I? No, indeed; praise of you cannot be flattery, Miss Lee." " Oh, sir, really you are a naughty man," I said, in the most feminine tone could command. He cast i languishing glance at me through the black lace veil, and I fairly began to fear for his feelings. We soon arrived at the grove, and f ound j our band engaged beforehand - awaiting us. Of course dancing was the flrst amusement, and lawyer Bimby led me j out for a schottische. It was hard, at first,for me to take the lady's part in my dance, but I soon got accustomed to it. When a waltz was proposed, I resolved to have a little amusement at the expense of the unfortunate Bimby. I flrst made him purposely jealous, by dancing with two other young fellows, one of whom I knew, in my own eharacter, but who suspected me as Maggie Lee. This young man, who was a great woman-killer, a sort of devil-may-care rascal, who made the ladies run after him, by his altérnate wrath of action and coolness of protestation, Iselectedtoplay I off against my legal admirer. I allowed him to hold me very closely and occasionally looked at him with a half fascinating expression. When we stopped dancing he led me to my seat, keeping his arm about my waist, and I permitted it. Having thus stirred Bimby up to feats of wrathful valor, I asked one of the gentlemen to direct the musicians to play a waltz. Bimby came immediately. "Ahema- Miss Lee, Bhall I- a, have the honor of- a- trying a waltz with you !" I smiled acquiescence, and we menced. Now I am au old stager at waltzing. I can keep up loriger than any non-professional dancer, male or feinale, wliom I ever met. As long as the Cachucha or Schounebrunnen ring in my ears, I can go on if it is not for a year. Not so Bimby. He plead want of practice, and acknowledged that he soon got dizzy. "Aha, old boy," thought I, 'TH give youa turn, then!" _ _' Bat I only smiled, and said that i sliould probably get tired flrst. " Oh yes," he exclaimed, " of course, I can waltz as long as any one lady, but not muchmore." For the first three minutes my cavalier did well. Ho went smoothly and evenly, but at the expiration of that time beKan to grow warm. Five minutes elapsed, and Bimby's breath came liarder and harder. On we went, however, and I scorned to notice his slackening up at every round, when we passed my seat. After some twenty minutes, the wretched man gaspod out between his steps : "Ah, a-are you not get-getting tired, ! Miss Lee?" 43 " Oh, no !" I burst forth ; "Oh, no, I feel as if I could waltz all night." The look of despair that he gave me was terrible. I was bound to see kim through, however, and we kept at it. Biniby staggered, and made wild steps in all directions. His shirt collar wilted, his eyes protruded, liis jaw hung, and altogether I saw he could not hold on much longer. "Thisis delightful," I said, composedly," and you, Mr. Bimby, waltz so easily 1" "Puft- puff - puff - ah puff - yes- oh pull- delightful," gasped he. "Don't you think it ought to go faster?" Hia eyes rolled heavenward in an awf ui aSnAh- puff- I- puff- puff - I don't know." . . When we ueared the musicians, I said 'Taster, if youplease," andthey played a la whirlwind. Poor Bimby threw his feet about like a íast pacer, and revolved atter the manner of a teetotum which was nearly run down. At last he staggered a step backward, and spinning away froni me, pitched headlong into the midst of a small bevy of ladies in the comer. I turned round and walked to my seat, and sent the young woman-killcr for a glass of water. The miserable lawyer recovered in time to see me thank his rival for the water. I got some idea írom tms oí the i un the ladies flnd in tormenting us poor limbs of the other sex. At this juucture, and beíore Bimby had time to apologize for his accident, J ennie carne running into tho pavilion which served as a ball room. As Bhe 1 carne near I perceived that her hand were chitched tightly in her dress, and I positively slmddered as she whiepered I to me : " Oh, Maggie ! come and help me nx my skirts- they are all coming down !" What should I do ? I was in agony. A cold perspiration brokc out upon my foreiiead. I wifihed myself a thousand miles away, and anathematized Bob Styles' masquerading project inwardly tyith fearful maledictions. I said I was tired out - could not some body else go ? No, nothing wotild do, btit I must acoompany her to the house of a gentleman ■H'ho owned the grove, and assist her to arrange her olothing. So I went. What if it should be necessary to remove part of the raiment ? What if she should teil me to do some sewing? What, if in the midst of all the embarrassment of being eloseted with a beautiful girl of seventeen in a state of comparativo freedom from drapery, my real sex and identitf should be discovered by her ! Ëowever, I nerved myself up for the task, and went with Jennie to the house designated. An old lady showed us into her chamber, and Jennie let go her dress. As she did so, a- pardon my blushes- pettiooat feil to the floor. She was about to prooeed when I alarmed her by a suddeu and vehement gestare "Stop!" I cried, frantioally, and forR-etting myfalaetto; "stop! don't nndress, for God's sake !" "And why not?" " Because I am a - can you keep a secret?" " Why, yes - how frighiened you do look ? Why, what is the matter, Maggie - you - why- oh - oh I oh'! oh I II" And she gave throe fearful screams. " Hush, no noise, or I am lost," I exclaimecl, putting my hand over her mouth. " I swear I mean no harm ; if I had I would not have stopped you ; don't you see ?" She was all of a tremble, poor httle thing ; but she saw the f pree of my argument. "Oh, sir," she said, " I see you are a man ; but what does it all mean ? Why did you dress so ?" I told her the story as brief as pcssible, and exacted from her a promis of the most secret secrecy. I then went outside of the door, and waited till she had arranged her dress, when she called me in again. She had heard of me from Maggie and others and wanted to hear all the particulars ; so I sat down by her, and had a long talk which ended in a mutual feeling of friendship, and old aoquaintanceship, quite wonderful for people meeting for the flrst time. Just as we started back to the pavilion I said I must relieve my mind of one burden. "And what is that?" she asked. "Those kisses. You thought I was Maggie Lee or you would not have given them. Thej were very sweet, but I suppose I must give them back." And I did. She blushed a good deal but didn t resist, only when I got through she gianced up timidly and said : "I think you are real naughty, anyhow." When I returned T found iawyer Bimby had quite recovered froin his dizziness, and all hands ready for supper, which was sorved in the ball-room. I sat between Bimby and Jennie, and made love to both of them in turn ; to one as Maggie Lee, and to the other as myself. After supper, at which I astonished several by eating rather more heartily than young ladies generally do, we had inoro dancing and I hinted pretty strongly to Mr. Bimby that I snould like to try another waltz. Finding it rather dry amusement to danee with my own kind, I soon abandoned that pleasure, and persuaded Jennie to stroll off into the moonlight with me. We found the grove a oharming place, full of picturesque little corners, and rustic seats, and great gray rocks leaning out over the river. On one of these latter a little bench was placed, in a nook sheltered from the wind, and from sight. Here we sat in the full flood of the moonlight, and having just had dirnier, I feit wonderfully in need of a cigar. Accordingly, I went to a little stand near the ball-room, and purchased several of the wondering women who sold refreshments. Then returning to the seats by the rocks, I gave up all fears for my incognito, and reveled in the pleasure of solitude, the fragrance of my cigar, the moonlight and little Jennie's presence. How long we sat there heaven only knows. We talked and laughed, and sang, and looked in each other's eyes, and told fortunes, and performed all the nonsensical operations common amongst young people just falling in love, and might have remained there until the month of August, in the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and eighty-one, for aught I know, had not the carriages been sent to convey us home, and the rest of the company began to wonder where we were. This wonder begot questions, the questions fears, and the fears a search headed by the valiant Bimby. They called and looked and listened, but our position down in the sheltered nook among the rocks prevented them from hearing us, or we them. At length they hit upon our path, and all came along single file, until they got to the open space above. Th en they saw a sight. I was spread out in a free and easy position, ïny bonnet off, and my hair ,omewkat towzled up. One foot rested i on the ground and the other on a rock, j about level with niy head (regardless of niy ankles this time), and there I sat, puffing away in a very unlady-like style, it a Ivighly Üavored Concha. Jennie was sitting close beside me with her head almost on my shoulder, and her waist almost encircled by my arm. Just as the party came along above us, I laughed out in a loud masculine voice. "Just think of poor whafs-his-name there- Bimby. Suppose he knewthat he liad been makLng iove to a man ?" " Hush!" cried Jennie, "Look ! there lie js - and, oh, my gracious ! there is the wliole company I' Yes, we were fairly caught, lt was ; of no use for me tü clap on rny bonnet, and assumo falsetto again - they had all seen too ínuch for that. Besides, by this time, Bob Styles and Maggie Lee were doubtless one flesh and my disguise was of no further importance, so I owned up and told the story. Bimby was in a rage. He vowed to kill me, and even squared off, but the rest of the party laughed at him so unmeroifully and suggosted that he scould waltz it out, that he linally cooled down and slunk away, to take soine private j conveyance back to D . Bob Styles and I are living in a large doublé house together. He ofieu says that he owes his wife to my masqvierading, but he don't feel under any obligation to me, for I owo my wifo to the same thing. N. B. - My wife's name is Jennie. The po:ulation of Naples was 451,000 soula on the 31at of Deoember, 1875.