Pith And Point

Can ladies with enameled faces be said te belong to polished society ? A lbadino maxim -with alniost every politician is always to keep liis countenance, and never keep his word. A Pjürsian proverb saya: " Tliere are only two days for which to feel anxious. One is the day that is past, the other is the day to come." When yon see a íollow-mortal slip into a stairway and rub his back against the oíd tacks driven into billboards, that means buck-wheat. lt's working out on hitn. ADoctob attending apunsterwho was very ill apologized for being late one day by saying that he had to stop to se sèe a man who had fallen down a well. "Did he kick the back et, doctor? groaned the punsr. A London paper says that ' ' the Spanish General, Moriones, rested his army for a few moments when on the pomf, of attack." The point of s tack isn't generally considered a good place to rest, even for that brief period. "Do tou trust anybody nowadays?" asked a beautiful young lady of a jeweler, as she toyed with the diainonds m a case before her. " No, ma'am," said the jeweler, "I don't trast anybody with anything; in a lady's case, I shouldn t dare to trust ïny feelings." TnF.BR is a f emale flercer yet, And wUBeer nor a Uorniet ; A female that don't come down ao stiu As snowflakee falling on the sod, To execate her own free will, As lightning does the will of God, But crashes down with iron jaw; This female is our mother-in-law. A Danbubt man has exhibited a prudence which is remarkable. Before making an engagement with a young lady, whose steady company he was keeping, he carefully examined her heau, and flnding an unusually largo deposit of dandruff, has left her. The lady thinks it is dandruff, and we have no doubt she is right. -Danbury News. The Harvard Lampoon aims this shaft: Oxford- "I say, where's Harvard?" Cambridge- " O- ah- somewhere in the States I believe." Oxford - " Where's Yale ?" Cambridge- "There yon have me, old boy - don t know. Why?" Oxford- " They want ustorow at a place called Centennial, nextsummer." Cambridge- "O, inde. d ! Ha, ha!" Yestebday was an excellent day for sudden sit-downs. A giant citizen, si w y propelling himself np Michigan a e nue, went down on the flagstones wit a ar and a groan which were heard ac; M he street. As he got up, a kind-hear cd citizen halted and asked: "Didithiui, you much?" " Not a great deal,' replied the embarrassed and infuriated vicüm, "but if I can get the least shadow of an excuse to pound some one to deatli I'll do it!"- Detroit Pree Press. Tvro signs that spring is at hand were noticed yesterday by an observing cilizen. He saw a blue-bird in Cass Park. It was a ñne, healthy bird, and as its songs of joy floated heavenward the citizen claspedhis hands andnieekly said : "I wish I were a better man." One block further down he saw a hall carpet on a clothes-line. A womau and a club were making that article of couimerce get up and dust, and the woman a face wore a happy smile as she looked up at the clouds and planned to have all the carpots up by Saturday night. As the citizen read her thoughts he clasped his kands and remarked : " I wish I had been hanged in Texas!"- Detroit Frcc Press. i