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How Jerry Counted Turkeys

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Twas the night bef ovj Christmas, when all through the room, [from the floor to the ceiling, were ahadows and gloom, In a snug little house near to good Boston towu, fust close to where Malden road wiïids its way down. Jerry's wife was at work, waiting Jerry'8 return From his trip to the town, whence the news she could learn; For Jerry had gone, as bis wout at such times, To rafHo for poultry and hazard his (linies. Twas late and 'twas cold- Jerry's wif e was provo ked, And all her forgiveness for sprees she revokrd Excepting, indeed, had he happened to win A ftue lot of turkeys and brought them all in. She had stuffed both the stockiugs, hung slyly with care - For Jerry's two boyp iookedfor Santa Claris there- Wnich said boye, being twins, were all snug in tbftif isedis Both down with the moasles, with paiiis iïx their tosas. There Bhe sat in her gown, with a bowl in her lap, And preparing the grue' for each aick littJe chap, By a very dim ligbt- for the caudles were frofce, And one of them spultering up to its nose. Twas a true Eastern winter, when pofedstafe ell still, And Brighton road lonely and Halden road cmU, A poor draught up the fe&xAey, the fire btirning blue, Üsing plenty of cofcl Sad poor heat giving, too, On this verv old night, when the winds were at wap And snow-ftakes were drifttng froin duil cloud3 afar. ■ She had just then conclud'edto hazard a nap, And was iust cross enough lo giVe some oue a rap, When a rap at tlïe düof, and a foot-stamping clatter, Called hef down to the gato to see what was the uiAtter. Awiiy from the kitchen she flew like a flash, With the gruel put by with an ül-natured dash, When what to her half-sleepy eyes should appear, But a man on the step, with a Btutter and leer. She shielded her lamp from the soft flakes of snow, And, casting her eyes on the object below, Found a smart little mau, without satchel or trunk, j Whom she recognized soon as her Jerry - hclne j drunk. He was covered with snow "ron?, fats ïïïïad to his f 00. And his pants were hvcked olumBily into each boot, And the briaï-wood pipo ttiat he neld in his teeth Was turned upsidc down, with the ashes beneath. A blue-looking bird on his shoulder was hrJng, While a bundie of evergreens next it v.ns slung ; For Jerry, thougn " full," was deciáedly nierry, With his face liko a fWl tnoon, his nose like a berry. His qneer littïc iHouth was drawn up like a bow. As her orry proceeded his trophies to show. Aad the boy took the horse, which stood still at the door, As often the sleepy lad had done before, "My darling,' said Jerry, 'ycu see. I've come home - You wanted a Christmas,. aact tve brought you Bome- l'd jolly good luck, and Üke all lovïn'K m'èn-, Instead of oiie turkey, iny dêar, ï'y boiight ten.1 "Teu turkeyp, yon brute- c driuks you must ïnean - You've only won onc, as is plain to be seen ; You're druiik fts a fooi - you 're as f uil as a tïek, Leaving rüe all alone, wiíh both the boys sick" Now Jerry was joily, but dreading á suall, Stopped to argue the pointwith hts wife in the hall: (My love," stuttered e-; 'you are stich a good nurse, That, if 1 hfd tlie measles, l'd never grow worse, When yow made the gruel, and waïched ma Hy night-, 80 I knew that the darlings up-stMrc wère all right. You've so often told menfn ui'iBÍian's true mission To do thingï i cUárity, and learn true submission That I kirt?w you are right - I am drunk - that'R vb tUn; Bui I've turkeys enough to giri tól the folks one. There'e old Mrs. Jops, 'and there's little Nan Brown - Just make Ihem bath happy by sending one down. You tan hang up the rest ; so forgive me, my dear, When you see all the turkey's I've brought you this year." The good woman gave in - brushed the snow from J hia coat, And loosened the Tterchief that circled h's ttiroat. As for Jerry, not rife to be canghl Unawares, He laughed to himeolf. end then staggered upstairs - Gave a look at M10 boys, And then tumbied in bed, With his booús ori hifi fèet and his cap on his head. Mrs. Jerry then scarched in tho sleigh, all aboni. - But nothing like turkeys or ducks ahe found out, ind her Rosom with virtxtous anwrer then throbbed, When she eaw that her good-natured man had been robbed. üp-stairs In a twinklkig her uirable fect flew, And her Ioo?v, like the one bird, was vergiog on blue. i "Jerrj-, ierry, wake up- you've been rM?bK on twe way ! There's not even a tatf-feathe left in the sleigh! Where can you havo sloppcd, and with whom have you been t You're ths drunkest and stupidest fooi to be seer !" JTï"y'B look was a study - with air most perplexed - Which angered his wife, who was fearfully ' vexed," He sat up in the bed, and with etutter and wink, Seemed to settle his brain to composedly thiiik. " My dear, don't you ecold, and I'ïl prove to yoii now, Where the turkeys have gone, and I'il just teil you howS 41 You lost them, you fooi ! You're a shame and a sin- You've been driüking all day, down at Harry Sruith'sinu.' " No, Mary, my darliug, I feil down in tlie snow, While waiting for Thomas - he drove very slow. My dear, when I feil, the tufkey feil, too, So I picked myself up, and kept staggering thro'. I feil down jüst nine times, and each time I was down I picked up a turkey - my dear dmït you frown - You see, Mary, love, that my count is right, then - For the one that you have- and the others make ten," Twas no nee to quarrel. Mrs. Jerry was floored. Jerry turned on his eide, gave a grunt, and then snored.


Old News
Michigan Argus