Pith And Point

The most fauhionable spring Muts fot men are made of two-ply carpeta. Man smokes becanse a cigar mnkcg liiin look wisc wlicn he hosn't anytliiag to say. Wiiat kin ís tbat chilcl to its om fatlier who is not its father's mvii so : His daughter. Whioh is the middle letter of the g] phabet? P- The words "The nlpLa, bet " are meant. What is that which you and cvery living pernon lias seen, but can never see again ? Yesterday. Why sbould turtles be more pitied than auy other animal ? Becanse theira is a very hard case. Why íb a congreve-box -without the matches superior to any other box ? Bacause it is matchless. Wit? are ahips frequcntly nncomfortable ? Decause they are of ten put nbout, and sometinle get into straits. "Mamma, what are twins mailc for?1' Precocious older brother, quickly, "go that cannibals may eat philopenas." Turn your ear toward any two -women conversing together just now, and you will flnd the subject to be the Bpring fnshions. Grapfle ever with opportunity ; and, is you don't know when opportmiity wj jome along, keep your grappling-irons vlways ready. What is the difference betwcen a bis bandmau and a seanistress ? The one gathers what lic sows,and tbc other sets what she gathers. What is the difference between j butcher and a fashionably attired yonsg lady ? The one kills to dress, and the other dresses to kill. " How many daughters have you?" said one gentleman to another. He replied, " Aix; and each daughter hasj brother." How many children liad he! Seven. Víctor Huöo thinks the balance of tht world would retiu-n to heatlieuism if Parii ghould be destroyed. Yes, what wouid this world have knowu about striped atockings but for Paris? There seems to be a general fceling that vhen there is no light in Öe cnbj a man ought to be excused forkissiaglui wife when she Iets him in, providcd he tliiuks it is the chambermaid. An Eastern man, in writing to hü friends of his marriage in Californii, thns tenderly describes his bride : "She has a liead aa red as a woodpecker's, and owns sheep until yon can't resi" Veby nice ornamenta can bc made by cutting apples into qnarters, ruiuiiag i string through them, and hanging tke string at a front window. ïheysre equaJ to a photograph hung to the saá. In a few short weeks the sixway yontlis and sentimental maidens will 1 enjoying the ecstatic bliss, knovmonl; to youth and innocence, of che-wing different ends of the game piecc of gna across front-yard gatcs. RussiA binds hergelf not to fidit fa the acquisition of territorj-, nul 'iurb; binds herself uot to interf ere with neigtboring powers so long as they remain neutral, and we shall soou knowwhetha Turkey or Kussia bintling is the mo rehable. It nevu pays to fret aud growl Wheu fortuno pcpnift our foe; TUo lettcr bred will puh alicad And strike the bcavicr luw. For luck is work, And thosc who shirk Should not lanicnt their doom, But yield the play. And clear the w;iy. Tbat bcttcr men have room. Talk about civilization ! The Detroit Tribune says : "They have a baak Deadwood. The paying teller weon a red shirt and site with his boots uixmte counter, and the President, wVipdJ)!1)' cutting coupons with a bovie biife, amuses himself with draw poker Vitli a director or two in the back room, uring the bank's f unds in the pool. "