Woman's Weakness

He was a melancholy, low-spiritecl kind of man, with no style about liim, but he bowed politely to the lady of the house who answered his ring at tlie door, and smiled almost sweetly at the urchin who was tugging at lier dresa. " Can I seïl you a bottle of the Magicnl Instautaneous Frecltle Eliminator?" ho asked, produoing a bottle from the little black box with leather handlcs which he had with him. " Don 't want any." "It's a splendid article, madam - warranted or money. cheeri'ully refunded. Better try it." "I don't want any, I say." "If you don't think it will work, Ican give you the most conviueing proofs that you are mistaken." " Go 'long. I haveu't any use for it." "I see you haven't got 'em bad." " Got 'em bad! Sir, wliat do you mean?" "I was saying that you ain't bad yet. But don't neglect 'em if you don't want to be as speckled as a duck egg." ' ' Me ! me freekled ? Get out with you, you impudent man." "If them ain't freckles on your nose I never saw any." "Take yonrself off iustantly. Go, I say, or 111 cali the pólice." " Better try the Magieal Instantaneous Eliminator bef ore it's too late." "Ugh! you nasty - " " Here's some of my Worid-Renowned Pimple Subjugator. It'll take the pimples off that boy there so you wouldn't know him in two days." "Pólice! Pólice!" "It's too bad, though, that Dothing will cure his cross-eyes or turnup nose. " ''Ugh! you brute. I could ." But shc never said wliat she could, bitt slammed the door shut with a crash and threw herseli on the bed aud-cried with vexation until dinner-time. ' ' How crusty and disagreeable some women are," muttered the gentle Eliminator man as he passed through the front grite. At tlie next house tlie patiënt sufferer said to the fairy wlio came to the door: " Madam, I am selling the deservedly popular and ever suceessful Potent Hair Criinping Fluid." "No, I don't want any." ' ' I am also selling the f amous Magical Ingtantaneous Freckle Eliniinator, but I saw at once by your very fine complexion that you are not in need of any sucli article. Let me sell you a bottle of the Hair Crimping Fluid." "Well, I don't know." " I can't help smiling to think that the liidy next door to you, to whoin I triod to sell a bottle of the Eliminator, denied up and down that she's freckled. " " Denied that she'a freckled ?" "Indeed she did." "Why, she's the freckeldest object I ever saw, and she knows it." " I couldn't help thinking so myself." "She's a vain, stuck-up thing, anyway. " "I dare say she is. I'm pretty sure I can teil when I meet a real lady." " How much did you say this is ?" " One dollar and a half a bottle, madam. " " Well, I guess I'U try a bottle." "If I hadn't failed to catch the first woman on the Eliminator I wouldn't have caught tlie other on the Crimping Fluid, and. bless their souls, they're both the same thing," muttered tlie meek and low-spirited peddler as he passed on.