Widder Greene's Last Words

lm goin'to die," 6ays the Wïdow Grecnc, I'm goin' to qmt tliis airthly sceno ; t ain't nu placo für me to stay, n Bnch a world as this is to-day. oh worlis and waya is too muck for moobody can't let nohody be ; 'hc girle are floiuiood from top to too ná dress is the Imll that tlley care to kaow nd their pnll-bat-ko draw tlieir gowus so tight s to mako tliem look liko a perfect friglit ! ld their bunnefci- good gracious !-they flunn' and flare. Yory ranch Uio a butter-plate top of thcir hair, ine men, too, ir mud Ou bon!s and stocks, Snoarin' and ilriukin' and plokto' locks, And up strikes, uUd doin' their best TO prove Ihey are all by tho devil posscsscd ! uy, 1 in af raid Hl strike or bc hanged",niyself, If I am t Eoon laid on my final sliclf ! rhere ain't a crolur font Imows to-day " A I ncvor was hmatick anyway ■ Dut siuco all the crazy folk go freo, I'm dreaclful afoarod thcy'll hang np me ! Tkere's another tbinK that is pesky hard ; I cau't go mto ,1 neighbor'a yard lo say ' How be yon ?' or ak for a pin, But all tho papers will have it in : Wc re pkased to say that the Widdor Grpeno Took dinner, a Tiiesday, with Mrs. Keenc.' Or ' o„r worthy friend, Mrs. Oreeiio, bas gone bp to Barkhanipstead to eeo her son.' Or some pesky rxporter' will interview,' And will pump out all that I over knew, And the next day's paper that romos to hand Hl print and aend it all ovor the land ! Ureat Jerusalciu I oan't I stir Without a-i-aisin' sonie feller's fnr? Why, there ain't no privacy, bo to say Jio more than if this was tho judginenf day ! And as for OUT iueetin's-I almost „woar Hhenever I put uiy head in thoie I Why oven ' Old Hundicd ' ia epih-d and dono Likc overyaüjiK elsc now under the sun. It ut rd to sound so nolenin and slow 'I'raise to tho Lord f rom all below ' ' But nnwit frocs Hito a frallnping ptcer, High diddle diddlo ! now Ulero, now nere ' No more respect to tho Lord above Uk all the boobieH He vvc-r made, And the prcachiug, too -but herc I'm d'uinb ! Bnt Itdl you what, I'cl like it eonie If good old parson, Natban Stroiig, Out of bis grave would come alom', And giTa us a sight of the awfld wratb Xbal a gatheriug over Ihc simicr's uatli ■ Tho cndlps dame, the undyiug -nonn- I tel] you I k,,ob8 'tivould mako folks sqiiiriu ! For it 'taint all love, ao sickish and swcot, laat makoe tbis world or tbe otlier complete But law ! I-m old, I'd bettcr lic dcad Tien tho world's all tuniln' ott my head-' Sperits a-talkia' likq silly fools ; Bil) es kicked out o1 the öeestrlct echoota Chüdren that never havo learned to obpy PuBhiiifr the old folks out of the Var Defalcations on overy sido, Boto fMia luxury, wasting and pride : Women all living to mako a dasli, Stw-ks all goiu' to tamal smash Iramps a-roaming tho comitry throuRh Half tho people witb nothin' to do ; Craisy creaturs a-murderin' round'It s time for nc to bo tinder ground ! So fareweli all ; this airthly sceno No more'U be postered by Widder Greono '" -Artonymoux.