Pets

Pets ov all kinds are a noosance. Pet a mnle with a klub aud he iz pasliunt, butpet him with oats and he will kick out one end ov kreashun. Pet dogs are full of fleas, and pet monkeys are f uil ov the devil. All pet eliildren are tyrants, and opinyuns, like second-hand clothiug, are worth just what you kan git fur them. A pet horse learns to be frisky, and a pet servant bekums cuuning at the expense of his honesty. Pet friends are the hardest to keep, and when yu do loze them they turn from honey to gaul, and pets ov all kinds are fastidious. A pet crow can't teil what liis next mischief will be, and ov all pets none are more nasty and cross than a pet parrot. tfothing in this world was made to be petted, for nothing waz made to require it. Pet hobbys are plenty and easy to mount, but hard to stick to, and the ditches, all along life's turnpike, are fllledj wiUi riders. A pet lam alwuss makes a kross ram, and what has bin once petted can never be happy agin without it. Live pets uv all kinds are sure to be lazy, and from being lazy to being sassy is but a short step, and is sure to be taken. Too much petting brings luxurianoo fust, and then ruin. I have soen gardin-sass petted so much that it all ran to top and to vines. Pet kats are, fust, an insult to the kat, and, next, are au insult to the party that pete them, and there is no more excuse for boarding a pet poodle and lugging them around than there is for boarding and toteing a bedbug. - Josh Billings.