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A woman's weepins- Tears. Hard case.- That of an oyster. Taking persons. - Policemen. Coins of vantage.- Gold for paper. Suites to the sweet. - Bridal troussenux. When boys take the rod meekly.- At fishing-time. Beer fllls many a bottle, and the bottle many a bier. "VVho ever heard a fiy blow or saw a fiy wheel anything. Though it has an eye, a needle cannot possibly "see the point." Grass gets its dew - about the only tliing in this world that does. A blundering Dubuque printer calmly alludes to an attorney-atjaw. It does not always follow that a man's bare assertion is the naked truth. Por penny-a-liners. - A balloon ascent should always be. described in inflated language. A man's good fortune often turns his head ; his bad fortune often averts the heads of his friends. Miss Ottie Tootle a "beautiful and accomplished belle" of St. Joe, Mo., has had her name changed to Mrs. Frank Parrin. A grave-digger buried a man named Button, and brought in the following bilí to his widow: "To making one Button hole, &f." Sidney Smith silenced a blatant hypocrite who asked him if he had any doubt about his piety, "Well, sir, I have no doubt about your magpiety A íazy fellow once declarod in public company that bé could not lind bread for his family. "Kor J," replied an industrious mechante ; "I am obliged to work for it." "A polite man," said the Duo de Morney, "is oae who listens with interest to things he knows all about when they are told by a person who knows nothing about them." "What do yon know of the character of this man 't" was asked of a witness at a pólice court, the other day. "What do I know of his charaeter ?" I know it to be unbleachable, your honor," he replied with much emphasis. A very oíd lady on her deathbed in penitent mood said: "I have been a great sinner more than eighty years, and didn't know it." An old darkey woman who had lived with her a long time exclaimed : "Lors ! I knowed it all the time." Obstinate Juryman - "What! Gie a verdict agyen Mr. McLushy 7 Not if aw sit here a' nicht! Aw'll see ye a' starved first! He's one o' the flnest gen'lemen i' the toon, an' comes to ma billiard table every nicht, m' oï pjf4 „.u-ui.,,..! uidguzine epicure insists that American oysters are much inferior to the little coppery English variety. l'he ííew York Ilerald compares this man to a darkey who went cat-iishing, and, happening to catch a fine trout, threw it back into the water, saying. "When I come cat-flshing I want catflsh." An old lady on the deck of a steamboat observed two men pumping up water to wash the deck ; and the captain being close by, she accosted him as follows: "Well, captain, got a well aboard, ehV" "Yes, ma'ítm, always carry one," said the polite captain. "Well that's clever. I always dislike this nasty river water, especially in dog days."


Old News
Michigan Argus