Trifles

Apr owed thing - A ship. Opinions are still cut bias. Breeches of trust - Unpaid for pants. The corn-flelds have a grew-some look. Happiness is a star, enjoyment a sky-rocket. People cali you deer when they would fawn upon you. Chicago policemen get $2 a day. No clubbing rates. There is some sense, of course, in a blacksmith's striking for wages. There is a great many people who will never go to heaven unless they can go at excursión rates. Why ought women to be gratef ui to the letter S? Answer- Because it makes needies needless. It was a wise and cunning Jew who said, "I teil you vat it ish, I buys my experience fresh every day." 'Tis passing strange that amid all the mistakes of the world nobody ever passed a quarter for a twenty-cent piece. Peru has found a way to protect her money froin being counterfeited. She has made it vvorth less tlian the blank paper. The Boston Transcript says the most popular bathing costume in Franee this year is an umbrella. How is it adjustedV The baby who puts his toes in his mouth is almost the only person who in these hard times manages to make both ends meet. "I had no time to stuff the chicken,' apologized a landlady to her boarders. "Never mind, madam, it's tough enough as it is," replied one of them. "Did you observe the Fourth?" asked Judge "VVilson of a man sitting on the prisoner's bench, with both eyes tied up. "I did," replied that individual, "and I haven't been able to observe anything since." Madame Denis, Voltaire's niece, who was one day mqdestly deprecating praises for her acting in Zaire, said, "One ought to be young and beautif ui for that.'" "Ah! madame," replied her well-meaning flatterer, "you have proved the contrary." In a current magazine story the heroine says to the hero, "choose.Henry, between me and the wine cup." A most sensible request, young woman. A man who doesn't believe that a miss is as good as smile and a thousand times better, don't deserve to win her. When a bee brings pollen into the hive, he advances to the cell in which it is to be deposited and kicks it off ; another bee, one of the in-door hands, comes along and rams it down with his head and packs it in the cell as the dairy-maid packs butter into a firkin. - John Burronghs. We would prefer not to have any diary-maid pack our butter that yf&y.-Traveler's Record. If our butter must be packed in that way let it be done by a bald-headed