1 Always on the move - 
Walking, talking and
already wanting to see the world.

2 I carried a stuffed Nemo twice the size of me
All the way through Kmart.

3 I added a scar on my chin
My brother stepped on my towel
He didn’t get in trouble.

4 started dancing.
and tumbling,
and snapping back at the world.
Whistling my own tune
I sat in the corner,
wake to sleep,
and learned myself.

5 I got a poem published
And spent all day learning to tie my own shoes.
I never let my brother get ahead of me,
Even though he is three years older.

6 gears on my bike.
My brother slipped and got hurt.
I held a “Need Help” sign.
I didn’t know how to.

7 I skied down a mountain -
Straight down -
Fearless and reckless.
I got a puppy,
He was my best friend.

8 I drank juice everyday.
No one took my fruit snacks.

9 sunflowers -
Van Gogh’s.
I created my own version
Made the cover of the art and music show.

10 years old, I started wearing a bra.
Early puberty runs in the family.
People hated me for no reason.
I was friends with just guys.
I cried because of the thought of someone not wanting me.

11 things started to get busy.
first place,
self-choreographed.
“Outstanding Dancer”

12 depression tests,
Atypical was found.
Three surgeries.
Sixteen pills a day.
Everyone focused on my brother’s sadness and\]
no one cared about mine.
Riding my bike 
turned into riding emotional roller coasters.
Losing stuffed animals,
turned into losing hair.

13 tears blurred the year.
Crying for no reason,
It physically hurt.
I continued on
Showing no one what was wrong.
Sexually abused with no one to talk to,
I still can’t talk about it.

14 years old, I stopped wearing a bra.
I learned about feminism,
And how the world worked.
I cut my hair,
Got new clothes,
Got new friends - 
Some that actually appreciate me.
Learned to appreciate myself a little bit more.

I saw goodies turn into druggies.
The skinny turn to fat.
The fat turn to anorexic.
The bullied turn into bullies.
The people who hid themselves
now showed all the skin they had.

Silly scars became cut skin.
Juice boxes became boxed wine.
Fruit snacks got drugged.
Love for your mom
became no love for yourself.
Everyone became what they said they wouldn’t.

15 I don’t want to grow up.
I don’t want to resume my resumé.
I don’t want to get home every night at 9.
I don’t want to stay up and finish it.
I don’t want to be like them.
I don’t want to be a special snowflake.
I just want to go home.