Some Amusing College Yarns

St. Louis has a good share of mcmbers of various alumni, and nnt'iing is more interesting than to hear these gentlemen get their heads together and relate sorue of their old time exporiences and legends. A few evenings ago, several old college men were lighting their battles over again, and the following amusing anecdotes were mg: " In one of the most noted Eastern colleges there were a number of student" who were inolined to frolic and having a good time, and their dormitory was located directly above a yard where one of the officials had a quantity of tine poultry which he was expcrimenting with. In the course of events, thcy were taken with a natural hankering'for something to break the monotony'of beef and porridge and succeeded by meaus of a fish-line, hook aud bit of bread, in capturing a plunip young gobbler of the bronze variety. lt was about Christmas time and the weather was sufficiently cold to allow the existence of a huge grate fire which stood them in good need, after they had stripped and cleaned the bird. The otner commodities for seasoning were easilv obtainable, and just as tliey were sitting down to discuss the feast, unmindful of the fragrance which had been diffused throughout the establishment, they huard the steps of the Professor approaching their room. To attaeh the turkey to a stout string and hang it out of the window was the work of amoment. The platter was pushed away and jack-knives were hastüy put up. The Professor' keen scent brought Mm direct to the apartment, and when he knocked and the door was opened the odor of roast fowl was too strong to be denied. They denied all part in the matter, however, ana inaeea uie most thorough soarch on the part of the Professor discovered nothing. He quietly sat down and indulged them with an hour's discourse on the classics. To their great relief, he finally took his departure. and they prooeeded to pull in their line. If a ghost had entered the room they could not have been more surprised and startled. At the end of the line was a bundie of welipicked turkey boncs, and attached to them was a card from the young gentleman in the dormitory btilow tbanking them for the excellent entertainment which had been furnished them. When thev went fishinar for poultry agaio, they took every precaution to inake sure of their meal. Another story was related which abounded in some of the e'.ements of pathos and many of hunmu nature. At a certain provincial college was a small, insignilicant looking tutor, who so far frora beiog an Apollo in appearancR was crowned with a shock of sandy hair, and had a general unhealUiiness and bumpiness of complexion. By some means or other he httii gained some ascendency over the fair sex of the town, while his treatment of the older.students was peculiarly aggressive, and he never lost an occasion to put an affront upon several ot mem. ai aun cimiiimüy was organized by some of the larger ones to'lay in watt for Jones, and give him a terrible thrashing, so as to inake him mend his manners and, at the same time, not absorb so much of the attentions of the pretty girls of the town. Theyarrangedmatter.s, and a big, goodnatured follow DamedSchemerhorn fsa selected to befriu the assautt. It was known that Joues visited a certain house on certain evenings and, there being no moon the night selected, evcry thing was in readiness for the blood-tliirsty undertaking. Sühemerhorn was to collar Jones, pretending to mistak e him for another member of the olass named Smith. That part of the programma was carried out, but Jones let out with the motive power of a pile driver, sent the unfortunate Schemerhorn to the earth; he jiimped up and again the tutor knocked him down. ïhis was geiting to have a chilling effect upon the other studente and they did not join in witli the alacrity that was expected of them; while the unfortunate Schemrehorn. who fairly towercd over his antagonist, was frora the nose and month "Hold up, Mr. Jone," bélloecl Sehenierhorri; "why, 1 thought it was Smith." "All riu-lit,"' replied the unwéamng Jones, süll letting out riglit mid lelt; ■ -consider me Smiih sail rlghl in considcr me Smltii 'l'he jokn g i om. and if you wantod to üjake one oí tjiose Sjassmattia ivery all voll had to do was to vhisMT sider que Smit h .