Press enter after choosing selection

And More Left

And More Left image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

A dozen years ago a farmer carne into Detroit with a load of patatoes and sold them to a grocer. A dispute aróse as to the quantity. The farmer feit himself cheated out of two bushels and he left the grocer with a black eye. The grocer was a man who meant to keep even with all men. He therefore took his affidav.'t to whip that agricultural toiler within an inch of his lif e, and the longer he waited the madder he got. At the end of a month, seeing no prospect of catching the farmer in town, the grocer procured a horse and buggy and drove out to the farm to have it out. When withia three miles oí the place he encountered a man on the highway and inquired: ' -'Can you teil me where old Stiver lives?" "Yes ; going to buy cattle of him ?" "No, sir! I'm going to ponnd him out of nis boots!" "I guess not! I'm old Stiver"s son and you've got to whip me first!" The grocer jutnped out and a battle resulted. He polished the son off, but it was a tight squeeze. He had not gone half a mile when a man who was husking corn near the fence hailed him with : "Did you have a flght down there "Í" "Yes." "Who whipped?" "I did." "Wel!, that was my brother you were fighting ; and may be you think you can mash me, too!" A second flght took place, and prov1 _ "1 __ FW ï m. - - - -- - - ■ ■■ A yú n " v%rk ït " l% T discouraged, haring several loóse teeth and a nose-as big as his wrist, but ha drove on to tho next house. A strapping fellow about 27 years oíd waa cutting wood at the gate, and the grocer drew up and asked : "How f ar ia it to Stiver's f "WhichStiver?" "Why, the oíd liar Stiver's." "Stranger, the man who speaka that way of my oíd dad has got to be pounded," remarked the chopper, and a third fight was soon on the boards. This time the grocer had his fill, and, af ter brushing the grasa out of his hair, he asked : "How far is it to John Stiver's?" "Two miles." "One more question. I've met and fought with three of bis sons. Is there another living between here and the oíd man's ?" "Another? Why, there are three, and besides there are two single ones at home who eould turn yon wrongside out in twenty seconds!" The grocer drove slowly back to the city and went to bed f or a week. His místate was in not waiting to catch the old man home some time when all the boys were off fishing. In settling the estáte of somewhat eccentric bachelor farmer, of Nova Scotia, a couple of barrels of buckwheat were sold. The purchasei of one barre!, who is reported to have been a miller, disputed the measurement, and the grain was measured. In the middle of the barrel was found a small tin kettle containing 9184. The miller at last reports was stiil kicking himself because he didn't hold nis tongue. It was Mike's third appearanee in ccurt within thirty days, and in reply to his usual appeal for clemency the magistrate impatiently observed: "It's no use, Mike, you're good for nothing." 'It'a not me shtyle to be braggin'," retortei Mike, "but if yer honner will borry a pair of shillelahs an' stip outside wid me 111 make it inconraynient for ye to howld the opinión."


Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat