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Very Queer, Indeed

Very Queer, Indeed image
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We were reading in an exchangc tho othcr day of the marriage of a woman in England whowas born without arnis, but wno can use her toes with remarkable dexterity. She can sew, knit, crochet, use a knif e and f ork and scratch her head with her toes with as much ease as most fortúnate mortals can with their fingers. After reading the article we leaned back in our easy chair, closed our eyes and allowed our thought to go off on an excursión across the water. We followed that girl from the day when she flrst snared a beau until her marriage, and mmii of the mental nictures wo drew were indeed queer ones. When her lover would cali of course she must receive liim as other ladies would and just imagine how odd it would be to see her reaching up her foot, taking his hat between her toes, placing itupon the table and motioning him to a seat. She would sit by his side talking all the little nonsensical nothings that lovers usually talk, ever and anon slapping him lovingly on the cheek with the sole of her foot when he would get ofi some joke at her expense. She spies a hair on his collar, and with a dexterity closely bordering on the marvelous, reaching up with witching grace, takes it in her toes and nnats it n.wüv. We can see her ting there with her foot in his hand responding to his tender squeezes, or coyly toying with his whiskers with her taper toes. Mayhap he may hint that he doubts her constancy, when, with an injured look upon her face she puts her foot upon her heart and assures him that it beats only for him, that at every pulsation the bounding blood murmurs his beloved name. Then he smiles takes the beloved foot in his hand,kisse it fondly and assures her that he wa but jesting and that he would as soon doubt the purity of a babe as to doub her love. If his necküe became loos ened how graeefully she would tie i with both feet, tapping the tie neatl; down with a big toe when the job i completed. We can picture her scream ing with laughter and clapping her fee in"glee over some funny story, or wip ing away the unbidden tear with he toes at a recital of want and suöering When about to part ho would kiss he and ask her for just one loving embrace and nth the light of love beamiDg i her eyes she would - but no that is ou of the question. We forgot for the nio ment her unfortunate condition. H would have to do all the cmbracin himself. She would hand him his hat escort him to the door, give him a gooc night shake of the foot and thensi down by the fire and draw a beautitu picture of the day when he would fall upon his knees before her and ask her for her foot and heart. Then she woald retire to herchamber, undress, sit down on the floor and bury her face in her feet and say her prayers as all good girla should and go to bed to dream of a future frescoed with bliss and dadoed with suprema happiness, And the mamage ceremony! Of course the bride couid not enter leaning upon the arm of the groom as is customary, for it would be rather unique and odd to see her hopping in on one foot, and she might attract undue attention. They approach the altar and the ceremony begins. Where right hands are usually joined she must give him hei right foot, and at thewords "with this ring I thee wed," the peculiar circumDfonwo nf the n.a.Kn wonid comnel him te place the golden band of love upon one of her toes. Of course it would tickle her and she might f! inch and wiggle her pearly toes, but this need cause no serioua hitch in the proceedings. After the ceremony friends would crowd up and shake her foot and rain down blessings and kind wishes upon her head, and under propitious skios they would set forth together upon the journey of life, foot in hand. And if the union should be blessed with children how exhilarating it would be to see her spank an obstinate youngster. She would snatch him up with her toes, lay him across her knee and whack the holy delights out of him with the sole of her foot." Then she would release him, shake her toe at him sternly, and teil him that if ever he disobeys her again she will make him think he has been sitting on a hot stove lid. As to kneading dough for the morning biscuits - well, we will drop the curtain of oiirinsirv nnd nursue her no further. Just let your imagination take up the thread where we drop it, dear reader, and you will have a bushel of fun. Imagine her doing the "grand right and left" at a ball, for instance. ■■ - Erolútion as a hypothesis to account for the origin of man is as y et an unproved hypothesis. There are great physical gaps in biology between the highest bruto and the lowest man for which it has as yet made no account. There are great moral gaps between the highest instinct and the lowest moral sense for which it affords no adequate explanation. It has against it the traditions of most ancient history, Bíblica and extra-Biblical. It is at best only a work out as jet a harmony with all the known facts of animal and human life. But it cannot be laughed out of society bv a sneer; nor scourged out of societv by an anathema. It has come, if not to stay, at all events to be weighed and measured before its right to stay is de cided. How much gold and how nrach dross is in the lump is uncertain; bu for this verv reason it must be seriously and oajmly oonaidered; it must be kep in the crusher and washer and sieve o public discussion until it can be deter mined how many grains of gold there are to the pound.- Christian Upion. A Germán nobleman had two son3 who wcro reported to be rather fas bovs. One of them was a clerk in a bank, and the othcr was an oüicer ot the army. "How are your sons coming on," asked a friend. "Bad enough! The one. in the bank, who onght to be drawing drafts, spends all his time m huntino-"; and the one in the army, who ought -o be busy shooting, ia always drawing drafts on me for nioney.- lexas Siftings Many proclaim their virtue from tha housetop only to keep the eyes of the pólice from the basement.


Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat