Wit And Humor

It Trniil.l be ea=y to learn a fovcirn lanarnngo i f, as the IrlsHman sa'ul, '-it coulil only bo Rpokc in EnglUU." Tli n editor of the Oil City Derrick hui tried it, and fitidï that "A NewYear's swear-off doos wear off." Accordincr to Edison, gas will oon hc "tho light of uther day.' - [Boston Post. The Notv Orloms Ploaynne calis the rout a gnrt of brake whi'-li a wisn l'rovidfiice puts on a man's lugs whoii he is living' too fast. An Englishmau rcconlly laid: '''npr talk a gooA deal of nonscnse in the United States, bnt, if yon observe, they ahvays act vcry wisely." Sftlf-ntatle man (examining a sohool of which he is a. manager) : "Now, bor, wliat's the capital of 'üllandV" lioy : "An 'II,' sir." Alittlo fcllow who was asked how John tl 10 Baptist was cloi .lied, answered : "In coarse garments of camera liairoight locusU and wild honey." "Youitg umi," snid a minister to a youtli of his oonregïition, "do yon know wlMt relations yon sustain on tliis eartli?" "Yes, sir; two cousius and a giaiidmothor." A country editor, beincj asked, "Do hogs pay?" says i great ninny do not. Tliuy mkc Ihc paper everal yeavS, and then havo the postulaste!' sjikI it hack "Iiefti8ed." "WHiat w.ill girlï do?" aslis an exchange. 'lluit deponds on clrcuinstiinccs. If a cow is n slght it is prob-' iiblc lhey'11 peil for help and tcar Üieir dresses jctting over a í'ence. The weathor and the crops. - Young fannei' - "Nice warm rain - briug tliiuys out of Uic ground, won't it?" Itapiehonsible old widowcr - '-Don't mention it! I've jjot two wivcs thcro alrwdy!" A fashlon item says that "girlg are wearing boys' liat, boys' ties and boys' cravats?' Yes, and the niarned oiiC3 are wearing boys' bree - wcll, only their liusbauds know what they are wearing. "What must I do," said a mean man to his lïiend who kuow liim only too well, "to get a pioture of the ouo I love best?" "The easiest way," was the reply, "is to sit lor your own portrait." An artist who was taking out a liccnse tbr some autumn shooting, on stating liis prolcssion, was asked it' he worUed ia oil. "Yes," he said, "and In vinegar, itoo." "Ilowso?" qucried the official, in surprise. "The vinegar representa my customers when 1 seiid iu thu bilis." A brig4it youth asked : "Father, are you in iiivor of rcading the Bible in the public schools?" The lathor replied that lic was most 'thoroughly. The youth continucd : "Well, I thoughtso; l'or you never read it at home." This ended the discussion of it iu that family ior the day . - -