Wit And Humor

ITow to stop a man from talking - Cut hts said off. A bookkoeper'g motto - But few men are boni to rule. A hard blow at punctuallty - Tho C.:ir's saviug liis lift by beiug lato at d i mier. It is said tliat no cat in Amorica or Europe can make so hideous a nuiso as the Eastern tom-tom. A Chinaman, who was looking at au Englislunan cating tripe, said : "And vet hc ha tes dear little micc!" What did Mary say to lier little liimb wheii slie sont it out to grass in the evening? - Shc said, ''Kwc go to ■upper. A niusicinn Trants fo ktloW lioW to Btfike a bee flat and at the samo time avoid being. stung by its demisemiquaver. Young man, don't try to fon?et your identity and becjme somebody elso; lor the other ohap is almosi nmc to ha an liuerlOT person. "Is that a deer park over there?" asked a gentleman of a laborar. - "Yes," he replied, "a ver y dear park. It al most ruined the owner to lix it up !" Whovi a hallgmati anti ati uniíortakei' moet nul ask onc anothcr, "Well, hov"s trado?" it excites qucor aiul perhnps grave einotions in the byg tuiniers. "Papa," said a swcot litUo girl to hor falher, a grim oíd lawyer, "could yon raakeü pan ora joke on pudding? - "Suct"- -sue it- saiJ Uie grim oíd. lawyeri "Ouï fricnd, Colonnl , ncvcr sconis to take much money to church ■witli Inin," said one ffentleman to another. - "Oh, yes he does - sauctiuiony I" Avas the answer, A country paper says that tho tighi of a bank cashief has d ing to a railway station 'is cuouyh to start a iim on his bank in gome places, so manyoí' thcin have run oiï with tlic i'und.s. "Má, has aunty got boes; in her mouth?r' - "No, iny dear. Why do you ask?" ""(Jause Captain Dean saii he was going to taste thé honey fron her Ups, and she said, 'Well, make has te.'" Whcn yoüng Dobb's unclercmai'ked that trulli is stranger than fletion youug 1). instantly remarked ; "JCiow Í understaud why I nover feelsomuch at home vritü truth as I dowith what is not so strange.', A fashion correspondent says that Worth, the nuui-niilliner promises to live longer than inany oai'snieu and circus acrooats. Mr. Darwin would probably cali tíiis l'the amval oí Uie littiat.'' Insanitj' is sfiid to be increasing among the women. Uut we do not believe it, i'or, notwithstandiug that this is leap year, the number of singlo mentrho would like to goi inarried and be supporled is as large as ever. When their danghters are infants, motheta are anxious to keep matclies out of their ïeach; to put matches wilhin their reach is their greatest anxiety when their daughters are oldei'i Parent (to dissolute son, "who lias been making callo) : '-lt's a shaine you khuuld go on so. Be a man uid l:ee sober, and you may vet mnke you mark." Dissolute Öon : "Cau (hic) il niore'n that uow; can vrntt m name." So niany socicties for the promotion oí' tuinas are established that .Joinniio wants to know why Bomobody doesJi't get up a society for the promotion of boys in school without making them study so. Detroit Free Press: Six medical New York experts esamined a man as to his sanity and were evenly divided. After they had wrangled about it i'or a week it was cliscovered that they had examined tiiü wroiy persou altogether.