A Novel Scheme

A proposition to -irrite a romance. An unhappy rnnrviage is Hke an electric machine - H makes one dance, but yon can't lot go. "Idon't mean to reflect on yon," said one man to anotlier. "No," was the reply, "you're notpolished enougn to refleo upon anybody." "Wel 1 1 I should er thou?ht he'd ef taken the old line instead of the new oncl'' exclaimed a Kontucky Womftfl ■yhen she l'oiind her liubsand hangiug in the bai'ri. A tteísoa preteiidinir to have seen a ghost was asued what'the appantion said Lo hnn. "llow shoüld i know? he replied; "I am iiot versed m the dead lanyuages." "Mr. Sniithers, how can yon sleep? The sim has been up tliese two hours. "Well, wliat il it bas?" said Smithaw' "lio goes to bed at dark, while I'm up till alter nüdnight." A gentleman down East, seeing hiá pretly maid with his wife'g bonnet on. ki-seil her, suppusing H to be the "rail onc." lie üiseoveved ins erroi tln-ough the assisuuictí oí his wií'e. A Hule ten-year-old miss tokl hcí motlier ihc otuer day that she was liever "oing to marry, but meant to bu a wuluw, because widows dresstíU in sucli uice black and always loukeU so happy "What did tlic PüriteHS come to this country íorV" ftsked a Maseacbusetta teacher of his ciase. "To Worehip m théir owii way and make otber peopifl do the sanie," waé the irpiy. A picce ofcourt-plaster 011 a prettv eirl's clicek is uot v:ry ímicli uut ot place; but itimproves matujrs ■■un lier slupid beau -oos liomu at eleven o'elock with it 011 one entl oí tria lióse. At a social reunión a íew c vonings ao-o, tbe quastioB fas asieü) "üi wn.a sol-t oí ímit do a quarrehioiue man audwifo retoind you?" Tiie youiy . lady vrho pfumpUy miswerüU, "A prickly pear," gut Uio medali A Leadville deacon rao a man tln-ce miles up a láli aiut rotípd Huil back in a bami, lor the offuuse oi caiim churoh a Joss bouse. ïhey're bomid to Iiuvü volición respeöteU in Lom ville. A compositor vlio "set np" tlio 'MV'o.iüin- wiiliom hei) nmn wuuia be asayajie," put the. siops fti Uic wrong place, ujju il i-'-id : V oman, wiUnout lier '1111111, wuiüd be a sa vage." V hen the Prince of Wales' son 19 orüeMU Bioft ijy tü captaiiij lic naeittally ï-LMiiiii'KS : '-Xiu.s is n.y gmn 1motWa Slnp, ana it makes my ouck aclie Lo cliuiu ttiat polé, and 1 aai t goiug to do it quly tilia once. Au lrh Ininiuiit bad so niany rabbiis 011 liis proywty umi be maUo canldesol "Ai.d to prove the tact " súd lie, "the momont a torfier üug ctiiitt iuto Uie room uie uandlnsitiunediaU'Jy beign tuian."